How I Want My Home To Be

Every now and then my brother Trenton makes the long drive from Prescott down to see us.....ok so it's not really that long but it is a bit of a drive. Every time he's here he ends up falling asleep on my couch! I secretly love that that happens! It is just a little bit of how I want my home to be! I've thought about this a lot! I want my home to be the kind of place everyone feels welcome! Where anyone could feel comfortable enough to fall asleep on the couch! I want my home to be the home where all of Nutter Butter's friends want to hang out! I want my home to be the place that has friends and good snacks, that smells nice, that is full of laughter, where you are always greeted and always leave with a hug. I want my home to be over flowing with love and loved ones! So the fact that Trenton always falls asleep on my couch, every time he comes to visit makes me really happy! It makes me feel like, even though he's family, my home is becoming the place I envision it to be!

How Are You Feeling? And The Cup Cake Story

I've thought and laughed about this post a lot. So I've noticed that everyone always asks how I'm feeling, always in regard to pregnancy. I've also notice and observed that most people really only want to hear about 3 things, cravings, morning sickness and fatigue. Other then that most people just don't talk about how they are really feeling. Either that or I'm the only one with way more pregnancy symptoms then those 3, and actually I haven't had any morning sickness so......

So I really just want to be honest with people when they ask me how I'm feeling! But I don't know that the world is ready for the honesty I'm capable of! So since I don't have to see the looks of shock and horror on your faces I'm going to be honest on here!

Over all I honestly have felt great, but I've had enough gas that I feel like I could bomb Iraq! I've also been getting heart burn so bad that I feel as though I could breath fire. I feel like I could be a side show at the circus, the fire breathing woman, watch out folks, don't get too close, you might loose your eyebrows! I could also show you a gnarly rash that started on my elbow, then it was on my shoulder, then my chest, then my low back, now my stomach. Don't worry it's finally after 2 months starting to clear up! The one on the elbow now looks like a man elbow, dry crusty and disgusting, any one need any sanding done? My elbow would be glad so come by and grind away, it's rough enough! Let's not even talk about the snail trail that's developed. If you've ever been pregnant you probably know what I'm talking about, if you don't be grateful. Despite my honesty I don't think I can go into details about this one. Just know it's not fun! How about constipation! Lets hear it for constipation, the pregnant woman's new best friend! Or the fact that my skin is constantly itchy and dry. Would you like to come and see my pimple garden. It's an area formally know as my back, chest, face. If you'd like to see you'd better come quick it's being taken over by a rash! If you've ever wondered what Terina would look like fat just come over in the evenings! At least my hands and feet will look fat! My toes and fingers turn into sausages! I also have basically moved to the bathroom. Between trying very hard to stay hydrated and Nutter Butter using my bladder to practice his super soccer kicking skills, I'm pretty much always there! No one warned me that my gums would become a bloody battle field after getting pregnant every time I floss! But they do! I really do enjoy waking up at night with painful hips, it's the highlight of my night! At least it add diversity and I'm not just always waking up to pee. How about the joy of raging hormones!! It's like being on a roller coaster all the time! An emotional roller coaster! Oh and wait I almost forgot pregnant brain! No it's not something people make up, it's real! I decided this after forgetting how old I was!!!! And basically forgetting everything!

These symptoms sometimes make for funny stories, for example sit back and enjoy the story of the cup cake. I had made cup cakes. I had a meeting and just before the meeting realized that I had a couple cup cakes, and strawberries, and whipped cream at home! My mind was imagining the best desert the world had ever know! I was distracted during the whole meeting thinking about how great it was going to be and taste!! I skipped desert after the meeting, rush home to make my delicious desert only to find that Brent had eaten the last of the cup cakes! (Enter crazy woman) I lost it! I was yelling,
"Brent!!! Did you eat the cup cake?!?!?!"
To which he meekly replied, "yes"
"How could you have eaten the cup cake?!?!? I was going to make a desert for myself!! With the cup cake, and strawberries, and the whipped cream!!!"
"I'm sorry!!"
"I've been imagining this all day! It was going to be so good! HOW COULD YOU EAT THE CUP CAKE!!!!!"
"I'm sorry do you want me to go to the store? I'll go buy you more cup cakes?"
At this point the fear and surprise in his eyes snapped me out of the crazy woman mode. I said no, that's ok. It's ok...........sorry! It's not a big deal......you didn't know....it's not a big deal......sorry for going crazy over a cup cake!

See funny right?!?! Yeah being pregnant is fantastic! I really do love it! I even have loved all the crazy symptoms! There have been a couple times I've had heart burn so bad that I just said my mantra over and over........It's ok I'm pregnant and it's all worth it! It's ok I'm pregnant it's all worth it! And weather you believe it or not the majority of the time when I grip about some down side of pregnancy it's usually followed by...but it's ok I'm pregnant. I really am just so grateful to be pregnant and enjoying every minute, good and bad!

Memorial Day Weekend

We had so much fun Memorial Day weekend! It was packed with all sorts of action! The best part of the whole weekend was my brother Cameron's graduation from Prescott High School! I'm so proud of him! He worked so hard and I'm just so proud of him!!!! Before the graduation we had a BBQ. It was a little crazy since Travis and Stef had brought Pepper and Taz (their fur babies) with them and we thought since they were staying with us it would be nice for the dogs to meet at a neutral place (not our house). So they got to meet at Trenton's house, they also got to meet Trenton's puppy and his roommate's puppy. Yes you are counting right that would be 6 dogs! In a pretty small space! But we had fun hanging out. It's not very often my whole family manages to all be in the same place at one time, so it's always nice when that happens! Here are some pics of the graduation.

Cameron and I!! Proud big sister!




Travis, Cameron & Stef (with a little sas!)

Travis and Cameron

Prescott was cold and rainy for the graduation but it was nice enough to stop raining just long enough for the ceremony! Then almost as soon as it was done it started raining again! Thank you to the Big Guy up stairs for that!

After the graduation Travis and Stef came down and stayed with us a couple days. We had lots of fun visiting but not nearly as much fun as our fur babies! They were all so cute together that we ended up taking tons of pic of them. And they were all so cute so I apologize for way too many picture of dogs! But we love them!!!!

Pepper, Taz, and Rusty romping around

Travis was at the bottom of a dog pile!!!



Bosco and Pepper were apparently quite comfortable with each other by the end of their visit!! LOL

Cute Pepper!

Bosco has no sense of personal space, and Taz kept getting jealous of Travis giving other dogs his attention!

Bosco found a new buddy, watch out Brent!

Taz doing what Taz does best, chew! I think he's worse then Rusty, I didn't know that was possible!!!

Rusty and Taz wore each other out! It was amazing!!

Cuteness!

Also while Travis and Stef were in town my Aunt and Uncle and cousins came over to our house for dinner. It was lots of fun! But we had 6 adults, 6 kids and 4 dogs in our little town house! IT was cozy and fun! It's always nice to visit with my Uncle and his family!! My cousins are great!

Then Monday we had a BBQ with some friends. It was great! There was a slip n slide for the kids, good food, and even better company! It was a fantastic weekend!!!

Happy Mothers Day!!!

"For those of you who have children and face the daily challenges that only a mother understands...

For those of you who have had an all-too small taste of motherhood and are grieving the loss of a baby (born or unborn)...

For those of you who ache for a child but are still waiting for that blessing...

For those of you who love, nurture, teach, pray for, and influence others for good...

For those of you who are daughters of our Heavenly Father who loves us…

Happy Mother's Day to you!

May you celebrate the traits of a Heavenly Mother instilled in your divine nature, and the opportunities around you to use those traits. May you remember and honor your earthly mother by blessing others as she has blessed you."

Krista Oakes

Happy Mothers Day Mom! I love you!!!

22 Weeks and Other Happenings

Last Tues we had a Dr. apt that went as good as I could have even hoped!!! Contractions are not a concern. As long as I pay attention to my body and don't over do it they have been fine. Cervix measured fine! Nutterbutter looked great! Tues. he weighed almost a pound, 13 oz! The ultra sound showed all normal and perfect growth and development! Also he is still a boy! It is so fun to get ultrasounds and see our little guy moving around! I also love that Nutterbutter is moving around ALL the time now!

Nutterbutter now makes me look like this

22 Weeks!!

Also last week we babysat for my little part time loves! I missed them! They are the cutest! We had fun going to soccer games and dance recitals and church! Once again we left thinking 4 is too many! Wow so much work! While we were baby sitting we just left the dogs at home and checked on them every day. Well Rusty must have gotten bored! This is what we came home to.......

What started the huge mess.....a roll of toilet paper, honest I have no idea where he got it!

Just a couple casulities of Rusty's boredom

But really how mad can you be when he looks at you like this to say sorry???

I also felt the need to put a cute pic of Bosco up since his is always so good and fails to get mention in the blog! LOL So here he is....perfect Bosco!!!

Let's Get Domestic!

It would seem I'm getting quite domesticated. I guess that would make since since I'm not working anymore and at home all the time now. Are you dying to know how fabulously domestic I am? Well it all started with lunch on Friday with the girls. Of course any good domesticated housewife lunches with the girls. What can I say Gecko Grill is just the best in town! After going to lunch I went straight to more domestication! I made strawberry jam! The Ranch Market was having a great sale and I got 12lbs of strawberries, 1 cucumber and 1 pineapple for just over $5! Yes I'm amazing! What a bargain shopper! Then I spent hours at my mother-in-laws cooking jam! Don't worry by the end of the day my back was killing me!! But the jam turned out so delish! And now we'll have jam for the next year or so!

Look how beautiful they are!

Not so beautiful any more! LOL

Ever wonder how much sugar is in jam.... TON!!!

Cooking away!

Fruits of my labors!!

The next day we started to make room for baby! Making room for baby starts all the way in the garage! The "baby room" has been collecting junk/storage stuff for the past couple years so cleaning it out means we have to make room for the stuff that's in there first! We start in the garage, then the under the stairs storage, then closets, then we can start putting together the baby room! I was so proud of our garage! It's the most organized it's ever been!

Then after we got the garage all spick n' span one of my beautiful young women came over so I could do her hair for prom!

It turned out so beautiful and made me miss my long hair! Good thing I'm growing it out again! Such a productive weekend! Oh and no comments allowed about how I'm supposed to be taking it easy! I could only 'just' bake a baby for so long before I had to do something a little more tangibly productive! I was going crazy! :) I miss my nanny kids and clients, and feeling like a contributing member of society, and my household!

Walmart

*****I write this post knowing there is probably someone out there who will find it offensive! So please know that I am not writing this with any judgement! I do not think any less of any one for where they shop! Nor do I think I am better then any one for my decisions of where I shop!!! Also know is is my blog, with my opinions, that's all they are opinions!*****

In the past Brent and I have tried to avoid shopping at Walmart. Walmart is like the evil empire. It is literally taking over the world! There have been studies, it has been proven they are taking over mom and pop shops world wide! For that reason alone we try and avoid shopping there and support more local shops. Also it does seem that because of the low prices Walmart attracts trashier people (I am NOT saying if you shop at Walmart you are trashy). Walmart is the only store I've been to and had a man with 4 teeth and 5 kids blatantly leer at me while I walked down the isle. Also the customer service is not as great as other stores. And the produce is often not as fresh as other stores and other products my not always have as high of quality. That being said since we had the financial ability to not worry about saving $20 by shopping at Walmart we normally didn't. Well with my current forced unemployment we are looking at ways to cut costs. So off to Walmart I went. Feeling like I've morally lowered my standards and switched to the dark side supporting the evil empire. Now I know Walmart tends to have lower prices but I was honestly SHOCKED at the total at the end of my shopping trip. We hadn't been grocery shopping in 3 weeks and were living off frozen burritos and mac & cheese, so I had a TON of shopping to do. Not only that but I stocked up on a few pantry items we had run out of and got some personal hygiene items I'd run out of. The total $70!!!!! The savings blew me away! I knew I'd be saving money but that was more then I had even anticipated! I think it's safe to say for the next little while I will be a Walmart shopper. I'll probably always think of the small business owner being starved out of town when I go but I'll also be thinking about me being able to eat! Also we live in an area that is pretty nice so the people who shop there for the most part are your normal every day Joe! I'm happy to say there was no crack heads staring me down making me wonder if he was going to follow me to the parking lot. (Can you tell that experience was a bit traumatic??)

Just a little side note when I lived back east if my friends or I were feeling home sick know where we would go? That's right Walmart! They are all pretty much set up the same and so it felt like home! One particularly cold rainy day when we had nothing to do we made the 30 minute trek to Walmart, they do not have very many Walmarts where I lived!

We went in looking like this.......

Since we had no real purpose in going once we go there we ended up looking like this........

Then we left looking like this.........

Yay! Yay! Yay!

I had a great apt at the Dr.! Every thing looked good, not great but good, good enough! No bed rest, no surgical procedures! I still am not allowed to do massage, or nanny 4 little munchkins but I can try and find a desk job! Hopefully I'll be able to find something considering the current economy! I'm just so happy! I'm also having so much fun feeling the little guy moving all around now! I think he's training for the Olympics already! There are moments he just goes! No flutters, he's doing flips and kicks, maybe he'll be a gymnast! LOL

Also I have a few prego pics. They make me look bigger then I am I think, so does Brent. They were taken right before bed which is when my belly pops out! Honest I wake up and it's like half the size it was, I'm sure one day I'll wake up and it will all still be there but for now that's the pattern happening! So for your viewing pleasure here's 'my bump, my bump my lovely baby bump!'

Yeah this was taken when I was on bed rest so I dont think I'd showered in a couple days let alone bothered to get ready/do my hair and makeup!

Seriously So Blessed

There is this blog that I enjoy reading. It's a parody of all of us Mormon bloggers who's lives are "Seriously So Blessed." It kind of makes fun of how we always have the best, husband, children, homes, family, cloths, home, ward, calling, etc. I'm making sure to tell you what this blog is all about because the first time I read it I just read...."I love this blog it's so great" So when I went and read it I was mildly offended and shocked that there could be a woman as "holier then thou" as this woman. Once I realized it was intended to be comedic then I got it! And now think it's pretty funny! Ok now that you have been warned here it is Seriously So Blessed enjoy! Oh it also has fun give aways pretty often!

So I was talking with a friend about this blog and it got me to wondering if I do this? I don't want to be the person who's life is unrealistically perfect. So be prepared for honesty from now on. Not that I'm going to be a downer, I still think life is much better if you can find the positive!

So here is some honesty. I'm a little scared. I know everything should be fine, but I'm a little nervous. Mostly I think because this is all so unknown to me and I feel ignorant about everything going on. I'm also a little pissed! I feel so irritated that I'm even having complications. Come on! It took us so long to get pregnant, and I put my body through so much don't I deserve to just have an easy uncomplicated pregnancy?!?! Oh and part of me just feels weak. Weak that my body can't handle pregnancy like a normal person. Weak that I can't continue along my normal life, when I don't even really look pregnant yet!!! All of that aside 5 months ago I would have said I would gladly been on bed rest for all 9 months if that's what it took! So honest what ever it takes! I'm still over joyed to be pregnant, no matter how long the road is, I will travel it to get a healthy baby to our home, our arms, our family!! Now to get ready for my apt! I am hoping for the best and preparing for the worst! Update to come soon!!

What a Difference a Day Makes

This is a little long but the past couple days have been a roller coaster ride!!!

I mentioned in my last post that I've been having contractions. They are not serious. It's a little early to be feeling Braxton Hicks contractions but I felt baby move a little early so I just chalked it up to high awareness of my body. I called and talked to the Dr. office they said, as long as I didn't have 5 an hr. for 2 consecutive hrs. and they are not painful, or accompanied by any other symptoms it's ok. That was Monday. Despite hearing that, I was still concerned. I called & talked to Mom friends who echoed the same things, not typical but normal & ok. Still concerned. I read online everything says contractions this early are fine. But there was still something in me that said, something is not ok. I called the Dr. again they tried to reassure me but I said I think I just need to come in. So I did! At this point I was pretty sure they would tell me no massage since I had noticed an increase in contractions during and after giving a massage. But I figured other then that they would say, you're just being a paranoid first time Mom. That is what I wanted to hear. I just wanted to hear it from my Dr.!

I was sitting in the room waiting for my Dr. and she walks in and says, you're not allowed to be having contractions yet! Which made me think, humm maybe there is more room for concern then what everyone is telling me! But she said the same thing I had heard multiple times. She wanted to check everything else too, just to be safe. During the ultra sound I said, is there any way we can find out what we are having (of course after texting Brent to see if he cared or it he wanted to be here for that). She said humm it's still early probably not but we'll check. After looking and looking she said it looks like a BOY!!!! We are not running out and to buy stuff yet (I'm not running anywhere :) she said wait a couple more weeks to be 100% sure but she's pretty confidant! I also got to bring these home!



If you look really close you can see a little arrow pointing to a little penis!!

So after the ultra sound Dr. came in and gave me the bad news. My cervix is way to short! They like to see it 4-5 cm. mine is only 1.5. So she said moderate bed rest, lots of rest, lots of fluids. She also mentioned a procedure called a Cervical Cerclage which would basically be sewing my cervix shut. Sent me home on moderate bed rest! With an apt to come back on Fri. to be recheck. That night when I went home I was keeping track of contractions and they just kept coming and coming. I ended up going to the ER to be checked out, and make sure everything was ok. My Dr. had told me to just go to Labor and Deliver if I needed to go in so once I was finally up there the got out the Doppler thingy to check baby's heart beat. She looked and looked, and we didn't hear anything. Finally I heard one, but thought, that is way too slow, then I realized that it was my heartbeat! After she had searched for a couple minutes and only found my heart beat so she decided to try the ultra sound machine. I almost had a panic attack! My heart sank I was doing everything to hold back tears as my mind is racing. They had always been able to find his heart beat that way! I was fearing the worst. All I could think is I can't do this. I can't loose him now! I've already felt him move! I know it's a him! Oh I can't handle this! I prayed with everything I had! I have never know such fear in my life!! It felt like an eternity before she came back with the ultra sound machine. As soon as she started I was searching for that little beating heart. The second I found it, the tears just flowed! There it was that little tiny heart fluttering away. A little life still safe and growing! There are no words for the relief that rushed over me! It was fun for Brent to be there since he had not heard the heart beat, or seen an ultra sound (other then pics) yet. And as if to say "Hi Mom and Dad I'm just fine" little baby boy waved his arm at us! I can't believe how much I love this little Nutterbutter already!

So on Wed. I was doing nothing but sitting and laying around counting and timing contractions and drinking and peeing! I thought what a difference a day makes, yesterday I was giving a massage, then working chasing 4 kids around, with no restriction and now I've become as lazy as my dogs! LOL But the support and friendship I felt was amazing. Just from a status update on facebook I had so many people offer any help I needed and offer meals, or help cleaning. That same morning the Dr. called and said she didn't want to wait till Fri. so she wanted me to come in to the hospital where she was on-call that day and be checked there and come prepared for the cerclage, no food or water after midnight.

Thurs. I went it and got registered and situated in a room and was just laying there watching tv when little baby boy started doing jumping jacks! I had my hand on my stomach and felt it with my hand too! That made me really excited because that meant Brent should be able to start feeling him move now too! It was so fun to feel him moving around and then have the ultra sound people come in and do the ultra sound, where I could see AND feel him moving! AWESOME!! The ultra sound went really well! I measured 3.3!!!!!! Which is in the ok zone! But my Dr. said that a cervix doesn't usually regenerate and rebuild that quickly so one of the readings was probably wrong. But she took me off of bed red with instructions to continue to take it easy. So no work. I'm no so happy about that. But whatever it takes to get this little guy here safe and sound! I have to go back on Tues for another ultra sound I'm hoping and praying that the 1st reading was the wrong one! And I can continue to go about life just taking it easy! My Dr. did mention she might want me to go see a high risk pregnancy specialist to get a more specialised opinion but for today I'm doing good and expect it to stay that way!

So again the difference a day makes! Yesterday I was on bed rest preparing for a surgical procedure and today I'm off bed rest and things look good! Things are going to be just fine! It might be a long road to get him here but that just seems to be our lot in adding to our family :) Brent is thinking we should name him something that means pain in the butt to get here!!! I think I agree! LOL Whatever it takes! It will be worth it! I'm so grateful for the spirit/mothers intuition/good body awareness that prompted me to go the Dr! And that I've been in tune with my body! My Dr. said multiple times how glad she was that I'm able to feel the contractions since most people cant at this stage! There are many blessings to count in all of this! Like we already know it's a boy! And I can have finger nails again since I can't do massage. And modern medicine! My grandma lost several pregnancies, it's very likely because of an incompetent cervix, so I'm very grateful for ultra sounds that can monitor that! And most important, despite some scary moments, both baby and mama are fine!!!!