Life Has Changed

A couple weeks ago two of my really good friends showed up on my doorstep. One of them lives in Idaho and the other lives in Utah! They just decided to come down and surprise me! Can I tell you how happy this made me!!! It had been years since I'd seen either of them! It was so wonderful to reminisce with them. They are both so funny, we just laughed and laughed! They soaked up some of Croix's sweetness and just loved him, who doesn't though ;-) Having them here visiting really made it sink in that life has changed forever! One of them is single and the other is married but doesn't have kids yet. So they were here just the two of them, no worries, no attachments. Of course we wanted to go do things. So for the first time since Croix was born I tried to do things I used to do before he was born. We went to lunch. It was my first time going out to eat since he had been born. Of course he started crying in the middle of lunch. I didn't get to eat anything. I was so worried I was ruining everyone's lunch at the restaurant. Thankfully we were at lunch at 2 in the afternoon so it was pretty empty. Then the next day we met up at the mall. As I'm walking around Forever 21 trying to figure out where I can go to feed Croix since he's started fussing and then started screaming, it really sank in, life is different. I can still go to the mall, I can still go out to eat, but it will never be as carefree again. Even if I were able to leave him at home with Brent, I'd still have to worry about feeding times, or making sure I pumped or fed just before leaving so I don't explode. This is not a sad thing at all. I'm thrilled that my life now revolves around Croix but I think it took having good friends come and tying to do routine things to make me realize how things are so different.