Monday, April 19, 2010


I know life is not fair. I know it's not meant to be. I know I'm not the only person who has experienced infertility, or the ways that complicates planning a family but I'm still going to say's not fair!
Croix is only 7 mo. old but I've been thinking about the next kid since I was pregnant with him. The fact that it took us 2 years to get pregnant with Croix makes it so hard to plan when to start ttc (trying to conceive). In my perfect little world I'd have the next baby (which will be a girl I've already placed my order) when Croix is 2 1/2. I think that spacing is perfect! I could have Croix potty trained so I'm not changing diapers on two babies. He'd be old enough to help out a little, to understand what's going on, he'd hopefully be a little more independent. So with that said if it takes us two years to get pregnant again we should be trying again already!! I am SO not ready to be pregnant! I also don't want babies really close together. I think that would be so hard. I don't want to start trying too soon and end up not having any difficulties and getting pregnant right away and having two kids in less then two years. But I don't want to wait too long thinking that my body has figured it out so we wont have nay problems and have it take two years, or longer, and have them be like 5 years apart. That seems too far. I had the flu, or food poisoning or something yesterday and as I was getting extremely nauseous I was having a mild panic attack in my head......WHAT IF I'M PREGNANT!!!!
Since part of the reason we couldn't get pregnant was my whacked out hormones we decided to not use hormonal birth control. Now that my body has finally figured out how to get pregnant I don't want to go messing with things by taking hormones. Well the options that are left don't feel very reliable to me. So I have this ridiculous problem. I'm constantly worried I'm pregnant, or going to get pregnant and I'm worrying about not being able to get pregnant and it taking us a long time again! How is that fair?

*Worst case scenario in both directions are easier and better then no babies!
*We are not ttc!
*I know some people who have difficulties ttc with the first do not have any problems with subsequent children. I also know personally at lest 3 families that have. It can go either way!


Erin L said...

I do not have problems getting pregnant. But I have had 2 miscarriages. (One before my first and one in between.) Maybe this is too personal and I don't care if you don't publish this comment, but I totally blame my miscarriages on hormonal birth control. My body wasn't ready to handle a pregnancy after those. So ever since Jack was born (18 months ago) we've used condoms. They have a bad rap, but really they have been completely effective for us and no hormones.

Kalena and Justin said...

Well you know that me and Justin use condoms as well as while we do have some scares I blame those scared on my being paraniod like you. We only ever got pregnat when we were not useing anything. Im sure you will be fine and you know when its time you will have baby number two. A girl since that is what you But stressing about it isnt helping anyone so breath and relax and rely on those condoms, you dont want to go back to the hormones.

Kendra said...

I understand your fears and can't say I blame you one bit. But, if you do get pregnant before you expect it, don't worry. Everything works out. I went off birth control 3-4 months before we wanted to get pregnant with our second because it took that long to get pregnant with our first. Well, I got pregnant right away (we didn't figure it out until I was over 20 weeks) and instead of being at least 24 months apart, they were just over 20 months apart. I know that's less of a difference than you're worried about but things really do work out and everything will be fine whether they're 18 months apart or 30 months apart. Good luck with everything!!