Friday, December 30, 2011

Croix's Going to Be a Big Brother

With this being my second pregnancy, combined with the fact that my RE had me gain 10lbs to help get pregnant I feel like I'm already getting a little belly.  One night it was popping out a little and I said to Croix, right here there's a baby, we're going to have a baby!  This was his response.

He's adorable!  When ever we ask him if he wants a brother or a sister he always says a sister.  If we ask him if he wants the baby to be a boy or girl he says girl.....maybe he knows something we don't.  I'll ask him "Croix do you want a baby?"  to which he always reply's "uh-huh"  and I will say "Ok I'll make you one".  I can't wait to see him as a big brother!  He just loves babies.  It will be so fun!!!

Happy Halloween

Halloween was a little sad this year as it was only two days after Jim passed away.  Croix's cousins flew in that very night, and we all went trick-or-treating.  The kids were all tired and grumpy, but once we got out there they had fun.

Croix's pumpkin got so heavy he could barely carry it, but he didn't care, he wouldn't let go of it.  Croix had a blast trick-or-treating and going out with all his cousins.


I am a firm believer that miracles happen every day!  A lot of times we call them coincidence, or luck, or maybe thing it's just our own intelligence and hard work paying off.  I think that our loving Heavenly Father allows miracles to happen all them time.  We've been blessed with a few lately.

I was supposed to take a pregnancy test October 28th, but for some reason, I'm not sure why I decided to test on the 27th.  I am normally opposed to testing early since if it's negative I'm not going to believe it because it was taken early, so I usually just wait until the day I'm supposed to.  It was postitive (a miracle in it's self).

Jim and Corinne were baby sitting for us that evening.  So when they were here we told them we were expecting.  Jim passed away two days later. 

If we had tested the day we were supposed to we would have just waited until Sunday when we were over for dinner to tell them, by then Jim would have already gone back to live with his Heavenly Father.  It is a nice little bit of comfort to know we were able to tell him our joyful news before he left us.

In the week after Jim's passing one morning our nephew Connor came and told his Mom, "Papa says it's a scary world but I'll be ok because he'll be watching me."  That same morning around the same time  Brent and Croix were driving to Corinne's house and Croix just started saying "Papa's here!  Papa's here!  Papa's here!"  How true it is that our little ones are so special and close to the spirit.

The other night it got pretty cold here.  Brent thought he should call his Mom to see if she needed help putting covers over her plants so they wouldn't freeze.  When he called she was crying and having a hard time trying to figure out how to put together the plant covers.  She was missing Jim, because that's something he normally would have done. We went and helped set things up, but how thankful we are for the spirit to let us know when to pick up the phone and check if everything is ok, or if help is needed.

I'm thankful for the miracles in our life that help give us a little peace.


I bet you're thinking this is going to be about how I started crying at a hallmark commercial, or got SO SO SO angry over nothing.  Nope, my hormones have made my skin so bad.  I have dry skin normally but the hormone changes have made it the worst it's ever been.  It's pretty painful, burns, itches, peeling, and makes me look like a leper.  Want to see?

Believe it or not it actually doesn't look quite as bad in the picture as it did in real life!  I went to a dermatologist and she gave me a prescription cream which is helping a lot!  Thank goodness.  I didn't really want to leave the house looking like that.  All so very worth it to have a sweet little baby!  No pain no gain right?!?


For anyone who missed our Christmas Card, or missed the fine print, we are pregnant!  Due July 7th 2012.  We are beyond thrilled!  I'm so happy it was so much easier this time!  I had to laugh when I thought how easy it was.  Just tried a year on our own, consulted the RE and made a treatment plan, gained 10LBS, spent a month getting rid of a cyst, and then meds, mid cycle ultrasound, a shot, and we're pregnant.  Funny that I think that's easy.  Despite the fact we were doing all this I was still surprised when we saw that positive pregnancy test.  I normally have quite long cycles, which means I ovulate (if I ovulate) later in the month.  They had me start doing Ovulation test (OPK's) at cycle day 11.  I thought this was way too soon.  But sure enough day 11 I got a positive.  When you get a positive OPK you go in for an ultrasound to see how many egg follicles have developed.

When I went in for the ultrasound the nurse says "looks like you got a false positive"  I was irritated, thinking it was false because I hadn't had the LH surge yet (which happens a couple days before you ovulate).  I was thinking I'd have to drive all the way down the Phoenix again, arrange for a babysitter another day in the next week when I really did have the LH surge.  The she said "it doesn't look like the femara worked".  All the sudden I wasn't as irritated as I was confused and concerned.  I knew the femara did something, I was emotional, had hot flashes, and other symptoms, I knew it had done something to my body!  She then told me she didn't see any egg follicles.  My heart sunk.  Another month of nothing, and now no chance of getting pregnant.  Then she kept looking and found one, it was already collapsing and on its way down the fallopian tube but it was there.  She said I must have ovulated either that morning or the day before.  I left with instructions to go home and do the trigger shot ASAP, do the baby dance ASAP (Brent did not want to take a long lunch lol), and again the next day, with assurances that even though it wasn't ideal, it was still possible. 

I had little expectations because not only was timing not ideal, we had "old sperm".  We gave it our best, prayed for a positive out come and I stayed hopeful but at the same time thought, next month we know to start testing sooner.

We were supposed to take a pregnancy test on October 28th but for some reason I decided to test on the 27th.  I used a test that a friend had given me.  There was a faint line, I started to get all excited but then realized I didn't know if this was the kind of test that has a positive sign and negative sign.  Since it was a test from a friend there wasn't a box, no instructions, so I took another test!  That one had another faint line...POSITIVE!  I couldn't believe it, bad timing, old sperm and it still worked!  Our first cycle and we were pregnant!  Brent and I were both just so happy, thrilled, excited, overjoyed, any other good feeling adjectives you can think of!

Miracles happen people!  Ever day!  You just have to look for them!

Friday, December 23, 2011

Merry Christmas!!!

We hope this finds you happy and well this holiday season!!!

Thursday, December 22, 2011

James Ernest Maldonado

I haven't posted anything in quite a while, because I needed to write this post.  I've been putting it off, so hard to do.

October 29 2011 Brent and I were enjoying a visit from a friend.  The phone rang, Brent answered it.  I immediately knew something was not wrong.  The color drained from his face, his tone of voice changed.  I heard him say "Are you serious?....We'll be right over".  After he hung up he told me something was wrong with  his Dad, and ambulance was on it's way to get him.  We abandoned the dinner that was barely out of the oven, I couldn't find my shoes or Croix's pants, so we left with out them.  We passed the ambulance as we entered their neighborhood.  Met Corinne out front talking to a paramedic.  She said Jim wasn't breathing and didn't have a heart beat when she found him or before he left.  Brent left with is Mom to the hospital.  I called the siblings and told them which hospital to go to.

Croix and I quickly went home and got shoes and pants and hurried over to the hospital.

My brother in law Tim is a fire fighter.  He had heard the call and met the ambulance at the hospital.  He and his crew worked on Jim, unsuccessfully.  Tim removed Jim's wedding ring, brought it out to Corinne and informed us that he had not made it.  News I think we all already knew but were still holding out hope it wasn't true.

We went into the room and sat with Jim for a while.  It was so hard to get up and leave and say goodbye, especially for Corrine, her and Jim did everything together, and he's always supposed to go with her.

We suspect that it was a massive heart attack, but despite three different requests the hospital did not perform an autopsy, so we will never know for sure.  Because of the hospital we also had complications getting a death certificate.  They released his body to the mortuary with out it being signed (which is illegal) and then refused to sign it.  You can not get a permit for a burial with out a signed death certificate.  (locals, never use Mountain Vista Medical Center)

During the week following his death we attended the temple as a family.  I've never been more grateful for the knowledge of the plan of salvation and promise of temple covenants.  We have felt the Lord, and Jim with us.  We have experienced miracles.  We know we will see him again.

As life has gone on and we've found a new normal it's been hard.  He's been missed dearly.  Our sweet little Croix who loves his Papa so much and is too little to understand still asks for his Papa, gets excited to go to Papa's house, and looks for his Papa once we get there.  I cry every time.  I think I'll cry the first time he doesn't do that too.

Jim was one of the best men I've ever known, truly he was.  His knowledge and love of the Gospel was deep and profound.  He loved his family dearly and was the best Papa to his grandchildren.  He loved his wife, and treated her wonderfully.  He was kind, and served other often and willingly.  He was a teacher, always helping others to learn. He loved to work with his hands building things, growing a garden, fixing things.  If we ever had a project we needed help with, he knew how to help.

This is his Obituary.

This is a beautiful rememberance video.

We love and miss you Jim and look forward to the day we will see you again.