I switched to a midwife and LOVE it! I switched for a couple reasons. One I've decided to have a natural child birth this time. (no judgmental comments please). Two I was a little worried about going in and telling my OBGYN that I had noticed contractions as early as 12 weeks. She had mentioned shots for contractions before I was even pregnant. After doing some research I knew I did not want to do that at all! Also after having been through labor, and real contractions I feel like they are just braxton hicks. Since a "real" contraction causes changes to your cervix I also didn't think they were real last time because I don't think I could have started having real contractions at 17ish weeks and held in a baby until 36, if my cervix was thinning, opening and dilating that whole time. I didn't feel like my OBGYN would hear any of that. I felt for sure she would just hear, I'm having contractions and want to start me on shots. That combined with the fact that I feel a midwife is going to be a much better way to accomplish my goal of a natural birth I switched.
My first appointment with the midwife was awesome! She sat down and just had a conversation with me. She asked questions like, what Croix's name was, and then used it. How did his birth go? How did I feel about that experience? What did I think/feel about my body and this pregnancy. It felt much more personal, and like I was being included in care of myself and my child. My appointment on Sat was just as great. There was no impatience with Croix's business instead she talked to him, asked him questions.
I feel like this was a great decision and I cannot wait to continue care with this practice and have a natural child birth.
**If anyone is interested I've switched to Boojum Midwifery. They have two websites
http://www.drkells.com/
http://myazmidwife.org/
I wouldn't hesitate a moment to recommend them!
Monday, February 6, 2012
Sleep At Last!
After prayerfully trying to figure out how to help Croix get the sleep he needs I decided to put him back in his crib. I also though a blessing would be helpful. Before I could even mention to Brent that I felt like Croix needed a blessing to help him sleep, Brent suggested it. I love that man! I love that he is a worthy priesthood holder. I love that he is concerned about Croix's health and well being. Friday we put the crib back together and for the first time in 6 months he slept in a crib. Croix received a blessing before bed. He sat so still, it was amazing. For the first time in a month, he slept past 5!!! He didn't get up until 7!!! We took him out for donuts to celebrate! I knew the true test would be nap time. Again, he slept!!! The difference in my little boy has been huge and wonderful. More laughs and giggles then tears and crying. He's just happier! There were many prayers of gratitude! This may not seem like such a big deal, but to me it's a small miracle. A reminder that my Heavenly Father is aware of me, and my family's needs and is blessing us. Thank heavens for Priesthood blessings, and personal revelation, so our sweet little Croix can get the rest he needs!
We're Having a Baby GIRL!!!!
We had our big ultrasound yesterday. Can I just say how mean it is to ask a pregnant woman to drink 26 ounces of water and NOT pee! Good heavens! I've been anticipating this for weeks! This past week just crawled by as we waited for our apt. I was so anxious to find out if we were having a boy or girl, to make sure baby was growing well, to make sure everything on my part looked good. This is such a big ultrasound. I was happy to hear that baby looks great. She (can't get over that!) is growing great, all organs look good. No signs of any problems. She is measuring exactly where she should be for her due date, not a day off. I was glad to hear this because as of today I have not gained a single pound. I wasn't seriously concerned, I know I'm eating healthy, eating extra, I can feel my uterus growing, and baby moving. I was a nice relief though to hear she's measuring just right! I think I probably haven't gained any weight because to gain 10lbs before getting pregnant I was drinking nearly 1000 cal a day. Plus the medication to get rid of the cyst caused weight gain. Surly if I wasn't pregnant and stopped both of those I'd be loosing weight. So perhaps rather then loosing weight I'm just not gaining. Dr. did say she'd like to see a min of 1-2 lbs weight gain in the next month, but at this point since baby looks perfect she's not concerned either.
The ultrasound tech was unable to get the shot of baby girls heart that she needs, because of her position and the fact she wouldn't move. She said from what she sees everything looks perfect, she just couldn't get the angle she needs, so we'll do another ultra sound in a couple months. Also my placenta was a little low, so they would like to check that again as well. Both things are not of any big concern, just need to be checked again.
We could not be more thrilled to be having a little girl!! We wanted this so badly! I got all teary eyed when she said, "and see these 3 little lines, that means it's a girl" Oh so joyful!!
Croix was very cute. He seemed a little concerned about me. So I had him come over and stand by me and hold my hand. He want to touch my belly and despite my best efforts to keep him from doing so, he got slimy. After a bit just holding my hand was not quite enough so he came up on the table and laid next to me. This made him happy! Then he could really see what was going on. It was super sweet and fun. I loved having him snuggled next to me, and see our little girl.
Yay for a great ultra sound and Doctors visit! Yay for a smooth and healthy pregnancy! Yay for almost being half way done!
The ultrasound tech was unable to get the shot of baby girls heart that she needs, because of her position and the fact she wouldn't move. She said from what she sees everything looks perfect, she just couldn't get the angle she needs, so we'll do another ultra sound in a couple months. Also my placenta was a little low, so they would like to check that again as well. Both things are not of any big concern, just need to be checked again.
We could not be more thrilled to be having a little girl!! We wanted this so badly! I got all teary eyed when she said, "and see these 3 little lines, that means it's a girl" Oh so joyful!!
Croix was very cute. He seemed a little concerned about me. So I had him come over and stand by me and hold my hand. He want to touch my belly and despite my best efforts to keep him from doing so, he got slimy. After a bit just holding my hand was not quite enough so he came up on the table and laid next to me. This made him happy! Then he could really see what was going on. It was super sweet and fun. I loved having him snuggled next to me, and see our little girl.
Yay for a great ultra sound and Doctors visit! Yay for a smooth and healthy pregnancy! Yay for almost being half way done!
Monday, January 30, 2012
Monsters and Lions
Croix is now afraid of Monsters and Lions. It's a little cute and a little sad. When we are playing if he hears a noise he quickly dashes over to my lap (even if he's sitting right beside me) and says "Mommy, what's that noise?". The other day he heard my tummy grumble and ran right over! Ha!! No matter what I tell him he thinks it's monsters. He doesn't seem to be super duper scared of them. Just a little bit scared of monsters and Lions. I've decided no more Monsters Inc. might have to give The Lion King a break too. Some times when we are driving in the car he'll gasp and pull his feet up as high as he can and say there's a lion in the back seat. Pretty funny.
Young Women
I've been serving the young women of my ward over three and a half years now. I recently got released and called to be a primary teacher. I've had mixed feelings about this. 3 1/2 years is a long time, I was feeling a little burned out and ready for a change. I was longing to go to Relief Society! But I sure do love those girls! I miss them and their happy bubbly personalities. I miss how they made me feel youthful and laugh. Last Sunday three of my old Mia Miads came and sat in on my primary class. I now team teach with the Sister I taught with in YW. They couldn't resist coming to class with both their old teachers! I didn't have the heart to kick them out and send them to sunday school. I really enjoyed seeing them!
They first called me to be 1 on 1 with a special needs girl. She is an awesome little Sunbeam. I know her, her mom and family. I was excited thinking how I have experience with special needs so I was a good person for this calling. It wasn't until later that I remember that I'm pregnant and that might make this calling a little more difficult for me. She's a bigger girl and picking her up, putting her on my lap, the physical aspects of the calling were clearly not going to work long term. So they moved me to be a team teacher with my friend. :) I'm with the CTR 7 class (7 turning 8). There are 18 kids on our roll, most of them active. It's an enormous class. For the most part they are well behaved. It will certainly be a challenge keeping their attention and helping them stay reverent. On to the new challenge :)
I am glad to know that this calling can only last 6 months. Then a baby will come and I'll get to go to Relief Society again!!! About 6 months after we were married Brent and I were called to serve in primary. We moved into our current ward and I was called to be a Sunbeam teacher just 3 weeks after we moved in. I went from primary straight to YW, now back to primary. The thought of Relief Society makes me a little giddy! I've missed it!!!
They first called me to be 1 on 1 with a special needs girl. She is an awesome little Sunbeam. I know her, her mom and family. I was excited thinking how I have experience with special needs so I was a good person for this calling. It wasn't until later that I remember that I'm pregnant and that might make this calling a little more difficult for me. She's a bigger girl and picking her up, putting her on my lap, the physical aspects of the calling were clearly not going to work long term. So they moved me to be a team teacher with my friend. :) I'm with the CTR 7 class (7 turning 8). There are 18 kids on our roll, most of them active. It's an enormous class. For the most part they are well behaved. It will certainly be a challenge keeping their attention and helping them stay reverent. On to the new challenge :)
I am glad to know that this calling can only last 6 months. Then a baby will come and I'll get to go to Relief Society again!!! About 6 months after we were married Brent and I were called to serve in primary. We moved into our current ward and I was called to be a Sunbeam teacher just 3 weeks after we moved in. I went from primary straight to YW, now back to primary. The thought of Relief Society makes me a little giddy! I've missed it!!!
Food
I've been a healthy eater the majority of my adult life. Even as a child I loved my veggies. More recently (since Croix was born) I've tried to eat more organic and all natural, specifically with our meats and our dairy. I just don't want the added hormones and antibiotics in our systems. We recently watched Food Inc and Super Size Me. I know we're way behind the times, they have both been out for years. This did nothing but straighten my resolve to eat organic and all natural!! It's amazing how bad the food the general public eats is. The sad part is it's not that much more difficult to eat healthy. It is, although more expensive. Why this is I'm not positive. I do know I get a "vote" with every purchase. And although it may break the bank I'm voting healthy! If you haven't seen both of those documentaries I'd highly recommend them, Food Inc. before Super Size Me.
Zombies
Current time 6:17 AM. I've been awake for over an hour. As horrific as that is, it's become all to common around here. Croix is broken. He's not sleeping, at least not enough. He's been awake and crying in his room, pounding on his door for an hour off and on, more on then off. He's been waking between 5:00 and 6:30 every morning. Which would be ok if he made up for it at nap time and slept a little longer, but alas such is not much luck. He's been refusing to take a nap as well. Or if he does nap, it's only 30-45 min. which let me tell you is not near long enough. But a short nap would also be acceptable if he were sleeping in a little later in the morning. This sleep deprivation is turning him into a child that is not mine, he's more grumpy, cries over the littlest things. There is more talking back and no's, screaming fits. Croix's exhaustion only mirrors my own. I naturally need more sleep. I wish this wasn't the case but it is. I need a good solid 8 hrs. to feel completely rested. Being pregnant 9 is ideal. Hypothyroid can (and probably is) making me more tired and have less energy on top of being pregnant and having a toddler, add in less then sufficient sleep and life is hard. To wake up so early and then not be able to take a nap is turning us both into zombies, grumpy, mean, tired zombies. Forget patient kind loving Mommy. I turn snappy. Find myself locked in my bathroom just trying to gather my self. My patience runs thin. He's also getting naughty during nap time. He's emptying his dresser drawers, pulling all the books off his shelf, etc. Today when I got him up (I'm adding this as an after thought) he was buck naked! So not only am I not getting a nap, but I have a mess to clean up after the hour or so of crying and screaming. Weekends don't help. I can't get extra sleep just because Brent is home. For some awful reason once I'm up, I can't seem to go back to sleep. I can't take a nap and let Brent deal with it because Croix is crying and screaming and pounding on the door right next to our room! I've had a headache from lack of sleep for days.
I honestly don't know what has caused the change. He used to consistently wake at 7:00-7:30 and take a 1 1/2 hr. nap. He was happy, I was happy, it was good. Here are some of my thoughts/attempts at "fixing" my broken child.
Teething
He's working on his 2yr molars. Has been for a while. I'll feel them, so close to the surface and then they will be gone. Nothing has broken through yet. He will tell me his teeth hurt. He has his fingers in his mouth all the time picking at his teeth or chewing on them as far back in his mouth as he can get them. I know he's teething if that is enough to cause this whole mess I'm not sure. He wasn't bothered too much when he got all of his previous teeth, but I have heard 2 yr molars are worse then the rest. I've tried giving him teething tablets before bed, no relief. I've tried ibuprofen, no relief. I've tried both of those, no nap!
Potty Training
He wakes up saying he needs to go pee pee or poop poo. He will still have a dry diaper so chances are he really does need to go, but is this why he's waking so early? Is he getting it too well? Despite the fact he wakes up dry most mornings I still put a diaper on him, so if it's 5 in the morning and he needs to pee, he can just go and go back to sleep. Same at nap time. He'll be knocking on his door and start screaming "Mommy poop poos. I feel like he's the boy who cries wolf! It's one of those things I don't know if I should ignore or not. So usually I'll take him and set him on the toilet and he'll do nothing. But occasionally he'll go, there is my dilemma. I ALWAYS take him before nap time and put in him a pull up, same reasoning as night time.
Social Needs
I wonder if he's waking himself up to be with Brent and I. When this first started when he would wake up early the first thing he would say is "Daddy?". Brent would be gone, I'd ask him if he wanted to snuggle in my bed, and he would fall right back to sleep. Naps seem to never happen on the weekend when Brent is home. There was only a couple times before sleep because a huge issue that he woke up from a nap and was obviously still tired. So I broke my rules and laid with him. He went right back to sleep. Now he wants to nap in "Mommy's bed" or wants me to lay with him in his bed. Don't get me wrong I love snuggling with him. Us both dozing and taking a nap together is quite delightful. I just don't want this to be a habit, or a necessity. I also especially don't want to make this a habit right before a new baby comes. I don't see it being so reasonable for me to lay with Croix during nap time while I have a nursing newborn. Let's also not forget, I'm going to need naps then. I remember how newborns sleep, or don't sleep and how essential naps were to my survival. I don't get good sleep laying next to Croix who is a wild sleeper thrashing all over the place. I have tried ignoring him. He's been in his room for 3 hours and refused a nap. ONCE I ignored him at 5 AM and he went back to sleep. Other then that one time it's nothing but crying and knocking on his door. I tried "super nannying" him one nap time (after being in his room for 2hrs and not going to sleep yet) and every time he got out of bed I would go right back in his room and put him back in bed. No talking, no eye contact, just put him back in bed. After over an hour of this he was still not staying in his bed, I was exhausted and sore, and he had been in his room over 3 hours. One day I even tried getting him as relaxed as I could. I gave him a hot bath, with me in the tub (some last minute quality time so he wouldn't feel the need to be with me during nap time). I gave him a nice relaxing massage. I gave him hot milk. We did an extra long bedtime routine. I was practically asleep before I put him to bed. NOTHING, no nap that day. Well until I decided I was so exhausted I'd see if he would lay with me, at which point he slept 21/2 hours! Clearly he is tired and still needs the sleep. Yesterday he slept (?maybe not sure let's just say he was quite) 30 min. I brought him down stairs and he fell asleep on Brent for an hour. This hasn't happened since he was a week old!
Doesn't Need a Nap Anymore
I've considered the fact that his is almost 2 1/2 and maybe doesn't need a nap any more. But by 4-5 in the evening he's a nightmare. No nap just causes him to wake even earlier. He says he's tired! He just wont nap! He isn't napping but I think he still needs the sleep, his behavior doesn't indicate to me he's outgrown a nap.
I'm at a loss. I don't know what else to do or try. I'm thinking about pulling the crib back out and buying a crib tent. Other then that I've tried everything I can think of. I'm tired and exhausted, we both are. I really hope he brakes through what ever this is soon, at least before the baby comes. I honestly don't know if I can handle this and a newborn. So please if you have any suggestions, I'm needing help here!
I honestly don't know what has caused the change. He used to consistently wake at 7:00-7:30 and take a 1 1/2 hr. nap. He was happy, I was happy, it was good. Here are some of my thoughts/attempts at "fixing" my broken child.
Teething
He's working on his 2yr molars. Has been for a while. I'll feel them, so close to the surface and then they will be gone. Nothing has broken through yet. He will tell me his teeth hurt. He has his fingers in his mouth all the time picking at his teeth or chewing on them as far back in his mouth as he can get them. I know he's teething if that is enough to cause this whole mess I'm not sure. He wasn't bothered too much when he got all of his previous teeth, but I have heard 2 yr molars are worse then the rest. I've tried giving him teething tablets before bed, no relief. I've tried ibuprofen, no relief. I've tried both of those, no nap!
Potty Training
He wakes up saying he needs to go pee pee or poop poo. He will still have a dry diaper so chances are he really does need to go, but is this why he's waking so early? Is he getting it too well? Despite the fact he wakes up dry most mornings I still put a diaper on him, so if it's 5 in the morning and he needs to pee, he can just go and go back to sleep. Same at nap time. He'll be knocking on his door and start screaming "Mommy poop poos. I feel like he's the boy who cries wolf! It's one of those things I don't know if I should ignore or not. So usually I'll take him and set him on the toilet and he'll do nothing. But occasionally he'll go, there is my dilemma. I ALWAYS take him before nap time and put in him a pull up, same reasoning as night time.
Social Needs
I wonder if he's waking himself up to be with Brent and I. When this first started when he would wake up early the first thing he would say is "Daddy?". Brent would be gone, I'd ask him if he wanted to snuggle in my bed, and he would fall right back to sleep. Naps seem to never happen on the weekend when Brent is home. There was only a couple times before sleep because a huge issue that he woke up from a nap and was obviously still tired. So I broke my rules and laid with him. He went right back to sleep. Now he wants to nap in "Mommy's bed" or wants me to lay with him in his bed. Don't get me wrong I love snuggling with him. Us both dozing and taking a nap together is quite delightful. I just don't want this to be a habit, or a necessity. I also especially don't want to make this a habit right before a new baby comes. I don't see it being so reasonable for me to lay with Croix during nap time while I have a nursing newborn. Let's also not forget, I'm going to need naps then. I remember how newborns sleep, or don't sleep and how essential naps were to my survival. I don't get good sleep laying next to Croix who is a wild sleeper thrashing all over the place. I have tried ignoring him. He's been in his room for 3 hours and refused a nap. ONCE I ignored him at 5 AM and he went back to sleep. Other then that one time it's nothing but crying and knocking on his door. I tried "super nannying" him one nap time (after being in his room for 2hrs and not going to sleep yet) and every time he got out of bed I would go right back in his room and put him back in bed. No talking, no eye contact, just put him back in bed. After over an hour of this he was still not staying in his bed, I was exhausted and sore, and he had been in his room over 3 hours. One day I even tried getting him as relaxed as I could. I gave him a hot bath, with me in the tub (some last minute quality time so he wouldn't feel the need to be with me during nap time). I gave him a nice relaxing massage. I gave him hot milk. We did an extra long bedtime routine. I was practically asleep before I put him to bed. NOTHING, no nap that day. Well until I decided I was so exhausted I'd see if he would lay with me, at which point he slept 21/2 hours! Clearly he is tired and still needs the sleep. Yesterday he slept (?maybe not sure let's just say he was quite) 30 min. I brought him down stairs and he fell asleep on Brent for an hour. This hasn't happened since he was a week old!
Doesn't Need a Nap Anymore
I've considered the fact that his is almost 2 1/2 and maybe doesn't need a nap any more. But by 4-5 in the evening he's a nightmare. No nap just causes him to wake even earlier. He says he's tired! He just wont nap! He isn't napping but I think he still needs the sleep, his behavior doesn't indicate to me he's outgrown a nap.
I'm at a loss. I don't know what else to do or try. I'm thinking about pulling the crib back out and buying a crib tent. Other then that I've tried everything I can think of. I'm tired and exhausted, we both are. I really hope he brakes through what ever this is soon, at least before the baby comes. I honestly don't know if I can handle this and a newborn. So please if you have any suggestions, I'm needing help here!
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Chair Train
Croix loves trains, so it's only natural that every time the chairs get moved to sweep/mop there is a train in our living room.
(I was trying to be discrete capturing the images so as not to disturb him, thus the focus issues)
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| Making sure all the passengers are safe. All aboard? |
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| Choo....... |
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| Choo! |
Air Port Lunch
One Saturday we decided to go have a picnic at the air port. Croix loved it and frankly so did I!
Such a fun little spot for an afternoon picnic!
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| Ramada next to the runway |
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| Checking everything out |
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| We enjoyed laying in the sun |
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
14 Weeks
Here's a few shots of me at 14 weeks. My belly's just popping right out already! ALREADY in maternity pants!!!
Croix is starting to understand that there's a baby in Mommy's belly, always saying he want's it out! I felt the baby move for the first time yesterday (15 weeks). It was one of those perfect moments in life, I was laying in bed with Croix at nap time. He was snuggled up in my arms resting his head on my shoulder and I felt the first little flutters. At first I wasn't sure but it happened a few more times and I knew, that's what it was. That's a moment I'll just file away in my memory and one of the happiest ones!
I'm STILL feeling nauseous and exhausted. In fact just this morning I almost passed out when I got so nauseous and light headed while cooking eggs that the world started to go black. I keep thinking any day I'll start to feel better, but today was not that day, maybe tomorrow! All so worth it!
I think part of the reason I'm still feeling so miserable is Croix is not sleeping well, thus I'm not sleeping well. He's been waking up between 5-6 every morning and then not even napping for an hour. (I'm thinking hoping it's just his molars coming in and that any day he'll go back to sleeping till 7 again!) The earlier I wake up the more sick and tired I feel. (I do not mention any of this to complain or for any to feel sorry for me, simply to document)
Croix has watched a little more PBS then he should, but I've tried very hard to keep the tv off, and just play, or go be exhausted at the park so he can play. Thank heavens for our beautiful weather!
I'm hoping the fact that this pregnancy has been so different from Croix's is an indicator that this wee one is a girl....two and a half weeks and we find out! Can hardly wait!
Croix is starting to understand that there's a baby in Mommy's belly, always saying he want's it out! I felt the baby move for the first time yesterday (15 weeks). It was one of those perfect moments in life, I was laying in bed with Croix at nap time. He was snuggled up in my arms resting his head on my shoulder and I felt the first little flutters. At first I wasn't sure but it happened a few more times and I knew, that's what it was. That's a moment I'll just file away in my memory and one of the happiest ones!
I'm STILL feeling nauseous and exhausted. In fact just this morning I almost passed out when I got so nauseous and light headed while cooking eggs that the world started to go black. I keep thinking any day I'll start to feel better, but today was not that day, maybe tomorrow! All so worth it!
I think part of the reason I'm still feeling so miserable is Croix is not sleeping well, thus I'm not sleeping well. He's been waking up between 5-6 every morning and then not even napping for an hour. (I'm thinking hoping it's just his molars coming in and that any day he'll go back to sleeping till 7 again!) The earlier I wake up the more sick and tired I feel. (I do not mention any of this to complain or for any to feel sorry for me, simply to document)
Croix has watched a little more PBS then he should, but I've tried very hard to keep the tv off, and just play, or go be exhausted at the park so he can play. Thank heavens for our beautiful weather!
I'm hoping the fact that this pregnancy has been so different from Croix's is an indicator that this wee one is a girl....two and a half weeks and we find out! Can hardly wait!
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