Tuesday, November 11, 2008

How Am I Here Again?

So we are all aware of the current state of the economy, not so hot. Which has directly effected (is it effected or affected? I never know) me and my massage business, it's the first thing people started to cut when thing started getting tight. My income has been cut by more then half recently! As you know I've started a nanny job which I have been LOVING! It's so much fun. But it is only temporary. It was only going to be until Dec. but progress on there house is slow and thankfully (for me) it won't be done till May. But once they move I'm doing to have to get a job. I love doing massage but feel my days are numbered doing it. It seems to be the norm. rather then the exception that I will be physically hurting after doing massages. I feel like my body is slowly falling apart. So I'm thinking I don't want to do massage at a spa anymore. But beyond my schooling for massage, I have a high school diploma, and an English 101 class! That's it. Which makes me qualified for nothing at least nothing that would pay anything near what I make as a massage therapist. Which then makes me think maybe I just need to get over myself and keep doing massage. I spent a boat load of money on my education to be able to do massage. It feels so wasteful to have spent $11,000 on massage education to only do it for 4 years. (Which in case you didn't know is twice as long as the average massage career, 2 years, yeah they don't tell you that before you start school) I will never regret going to school for massage. It has provided me opportunities I could have only imagines (Puerto Rico, working for myself, etc)!! But all of this has got me thinking about school. Should I go back to school? If I do what for? I feel like I'm at that what do I want to do with the rest of my life stage again, totally thought I was over that, years ago!! I really enjoy school so it's not like I wouldn't want to do school. The thought of being in school for years and years is a little disheartening especially at the age of 26. I have thought I want my children (which we will someday have) to value education! I've also thought, would I be a bit of a hypocrite to expect them to get at least an associates degree if I haven't done that myself? Maybe. So then I think I need to have minimum an associates degree. I guess to sum up I feel very reminiscent of years gone by of wondering the best direction to take in my life is and what I want to do with the rest of my life, which by the way is a little complicated when really what I want to do with the rest of my life is be a Mommy! So it makes all of this seem a little irrelevant! I'm just wondering how this stage in life has snuck back up on me. How am I here again wondering the same questions I did years ago!?! I think the best thing to do is pray! My Heavenly Father knows my needs, my heart and what is best for me and my family.

3 comments:

Heather said...

I feel your pain! I do have a decent job right now, but I don't love it and it's definitely not what I would do forever. Thankfully I will be done in a few months with my degree, but even then, all I want to do is be a mom! So I am right there with you! I am sorry - I hope you figure things out :) But I am sure you will! Oh, and you should email me sometime so we can chat more besides through the blog. heatherdalene@gmail.com.

Amanda said...

Clearly we need to talk. :) I know exactly how you feel, and yet I unexpectedly found a spark of excitement in the training I'm getting at work. What about a teaching gig at a massage school? Utilize your skills, but without the stress of marketing and hauling your table around town... You're an amazing therapist, you're one of the most intelligent, brilliant, funny women I've ever met. You could throw river rocks for a living and still be a rockstar. I love you. Stop trippin.... :) lol

Crissylady said...

Oh my gosh, I feel your pain! I do have to say, I've been doing massage for 8 years and only recently discovered just how effective working out is for pain management. Seriously, when I work out regularly, I don't hurt. But anyways, even though I love the job I have, I know it's not forever, and like you I have no other qualifications. Makes me wonder what I will do. But we are smart and amazing and talented and we will figure it out, especially when we've got the Lord rooting for us. :-) Oh and guess what? I tagged you. Hee hee.