Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Thoughts on Mothers Day

Mothers Day 2005 Brent and I were engaged, I dreamed of what our babies would look like. What a great Daddy Brent would make.

Mothers Day 2006 I wasn't quite ready but I could feel the baby bug inching forward, it hadn't quite bit yet thought.

Mother Day 2007 I had been bit! We had started trying for a baby. I was excited beyond words at the potential of being a mommy!!! Mothers Day was mostly exciting, but just a little sad. I had a definite ache of longing, a desire, a hole in my heart and life needing to be filled.

Mothers Day 2008 we skipped sacrament meeting. It was too sad. We were doing fertility treatments. I cried. It was hard. (hard feel like an understatement!)

Mothers Day 2009 I sat in sacrament meeting and felt my baby move with in me. I cried again, tears of joy! I could hardly wait!

Mothers Day 2010
Croix and Brent got me the perfect gift. It was Croix's little hand print. I LOVED it! Brent did such a good job! I love that he thought ahead. Didn't get something generic. Spent some time on it. It was thoughtful and perfect! Croix also gave me the best gift. A kiss! He gave me a kiss on his own, on the lips, for the first time Mothers Day morning!! How perfect right! We also got together with the Maldonado fam and had dinner and then took family pictures for Brent's parents. If you leave out the argument Brent and I had in the middle of the day it was a wonderful day :)

I was thinking a lot about being a Mom as Mothers day approached. I found I'm completely happy and fulfilled being a stay at home mom! This rather surprised me when I realized that. I've always been a very independent person. I have my own business, doing massage at my home. I still have dreams of owning and running a spa someday. I was worried "just" being a Mom wouldn't be enough. I think that's part of the reason why I clung so desperately to my private clients. I didn't know how I would feel about myself if I wasn't working in some way. If I wasn't contributing to our income, to our household, to society. I still love doing massage but I'm falling less in love with working and more and more in love with my beautiful son! I'm finding great joy in actively working with him to help him in his development. I love watching him grow and learn. I'm finding pride and satisfaction in keeping my house in order (ha I laugh reading that since I'm horrible at it! I should say find pride in attempting the rare fleeting moments when parts of my house are clean! :). I'm thoroughly enjoying trying to new recipes and making delicious meals for my little family. There was a time I would not have even been able to imagine being so content in this roll, but I am.

I also think about how I truly savor every moment of motherhood! I don't know if I can say that I appreciate being a Mom more because I waited for it longer then most, and worked harder for it then most, and spent more money to become a mommy then most....BUT I might just say that I do! Whether it's true or not I'll never know. All I know is there is no way to measure the gratitude I feel at being blessed with this sacred responsibly and blessing! I still, eight months in, get misty eyed thinking about it! I really feel like I should write more, but there are just no words! Just know my heart overflows with love for my sweet child, and my dear husband both of whom with out I would not have the sacred title of Mom!


Heather said...

Great picture of you and Croix, just love it! Thanks for sharing your thoughts, I echo the same.

Kalena and Justin said...

Love the pic and what can I say you make most of us misty eyed with you posts about being a mom. Thanks for reminding the rest of us what a great title it is.

Stephanie and Cody Sunderhaus said...

That was so sweet! I didn't know that you guys had to work so hard for him! And I agree that it does make you appreciate motherhood more. And those who have to try harder and lose a baby is also to me so much sadder... so anyway... I do agree.