What Happened to My Blog??

I posted how I was a "guest blogger" on a friends blog.  It was really fun.  It was fun to sit and think about what I was going to write.  To try and be witty and funny.  To put my thoughts down in a more organized thoughtful manner.  I think that's how I used to blog.  Now it seems it's more been just get it out and get it down, before I forget, or while I have time.  There weren't a lot of comments on my post but the few made me happy, really happy!  At first I thought man am I so vain and shallow that comments on a blog telling me how funny I was just completely made my day.  But as I thought about it I realized it was more then just the comments.  I've always been/wanted to be a writer.  I've always enjoyed writing and imagined someday writing a book.  Until I have a great idea and tons of time to write, blogging has been my creative writing outlet.  Before blogs existed it was journaling.  I can't even tell you how many journals I have! 

So I love to write, but my blog has turned into a total Mommy blog.  Not that there is one thing wrong with that, it just doesn't quite feel like me. I wondered, what happened to my blog?  I thought about how I used to blog write, it was better.  Not that I felt like our life was better or what I wrote about was better, just the way I wrote.  It's funny, with how much more in love with my life that I am now than I was then, I should be even that much a greater writer!

I feel our blog should be more reflective of who I am.  I know I can still document our lives, Croix's learning and adventures, and still have my voice come out.  I also think I need to have a few more posts just about life and thoughts.  So this is my new goal, let my voice come out a little stronger through the words I use to document our lives. 

Guest Blogger

I got to be a guest blogger over here at the Pregnant Post Office.  If you enjoy an honest laugh about pregnancy go check it out.  I'm pretty sure my post will have you laughing (in my humble opinion!)

Gas-gasm

You know what I absolutely love the most about being pregnant?  (When I say love really I mean the thing I completely hate)  Gas.  You know how it just happens, if you’re like me, all the time.  I’ve turned into that nasty old person I hate at the grocery store.  I happily let one rip while picking my produce, because if it’s coming out, it’s not going to make me miserable staying in!  I’ve gotten to the point, I don’t care if it smells, if people hear me, or know it’s me, I just don’t want to get to that point where I feel like I’m going to explode if I don’t let it out.  Yeah I’ve gotten to be nasty like that.  And no, I don’t care, and I don’t care what you think about that. 

If you’ve ever been pregnant you probably understand why.  If you’ve never been pregnant or were just lucky enough to not have miserable gas let me tell you why I couldn’t care less what anyone thinks about me as long as the gas is coming out.

If it doesn’t come out it’s staying in!  Let me tell you a little what that feels like.  A little like someone crammed a giant ball into your stomach (let us not forget there is already a baby growing in there taking up the majority of the room, so this ball is in addition to the uterus containing the human you are growing).  It is covered in acid that is eating you alive from the inside out.  You know the only way to alleviate the pain caused by the giant acid bomb is to burp or fart.  So that’s pretty much all you want to do in life is burp or fart.  Every move you make hurts, laying down, sitting, pretty much just being alive.  You start to feel a little unhuman as your body is being taken over by the pain.   As this giant ball moves it hurts more, in other places.  You feel it moving and know relief has to be coming, it’s working its way out.

Finally the point comes where you just let one rip.  A giant fart that would make any hillbilly proud.  This is what I call a gas-gasm.  Why?  Because it’s a little reminiscent of an orgasm.  How in the world is passing gas, like an orgasm?  Well let me tell you.  You have to build up to an orgasm, you build up to it, you feel it coming, and you can’t wait for it.  Then all of the sudden….WHAM!  Best feeling EVER!!!  You might even sigh or let out a light moan after.  Oh the joy of an orgasm.  Same with pregnant gas.  It builds up, you can feel it coming, and you just can’t wait for it.  The RIPPPPP!  Best feeling EVER!!!!  No more pain.  You’re human again.  You might even let out a sigh, or little moan of relief.  You just had a gas-gasm!

Now if only orgasms could occur as often during pregnancy as gas-gasms do, that would be lovely now wouldn’t it!!!!

Just Us

I've been surprised by the feelings I've been having lately.  I find myself a little sad.  Sad to know this time of just Croix is going to end soon.  Certainly not sad to be having another baby, but just realizing this special time where it's just us, is almost over.  I love all the snuggles, and kisses, all the time playing.  Eating lunch together, going on all of our errands.  It's kind of fun just us.  It feels special.  We have a great routine.  Life is easy and predictable.  We're good together.  I can't wait for our little family to grow.  To have another little one to love.  In the mean time, I'm relishing every moment with just Croix!

Valentines Day

I never really liked Valentines Day.  I always felt like it was a manufactured holiday.  Even after getting married I felt the same way.  (So it wasn't a bitter single thing)  The past couple years it's started to grow on  me.  What's so wrong with a day to really remember the ones you love.  To be thankful for the love in your life.  To me this stretches beyond a spouse or boyfriend.  There is love in my life from other family members, friends,  random people can put a happy smile on my face and make me appreciate love (like the elderly couple holding hands through the grocery store).
  Now I think, I don't want chocolates or flowers, I'm not going to buy stupid cards, but I will appreciate the love in my life.

This year Croix and I wrote 50 things we love about Brent.  We put some of them in balloons, some on hearts we cut out.  I put up some streamers.  Our living room was full of love. 

I had a hard time keeping Croix from popping the balloons until Brent got home.  When Brent finally got home and Croix could pop the balloons I would tell him "now go give Daddy his love".  It was fun.

This morning when we got up Croix wanted to go downstairs and "get some love" <3.  It was as much for Croix to decorate, as it was for Brent. 

We were lucky enough to have Brent's Mom come watch Croix for us so we could go out.  So for the first time in the 7 years that we've been together we went out ON Valentines Day.

To Quote The Format:
"I love love!  I love being in love!"

18 Week Pics

I decided to do an AM and PM pic, since I feel like my belly doubles in size through out the day.
Here's my handy photography work with the camera set to self time balancing on the couch.

Here I am at the end of the day.  Not quite as dramatic as it feels, but you can still see the difference.

I'm in that totally awesome phase where I don't quite totally look pregnant.  Maternity pants won't stay up, maternity shirts won't stay down.  I'm rummaging my wardrobe for those perfect tops.  But to be honest mostly just stick to sweat pants!

Today we gave a friend a ride home from church and out of the blue Croix starts telling her about his baby sister.  Too adorable!  He's going to be a great big brother!

Movie Night

Last night we had a family date night, in celebration of Valentines Day.  We pulled out the air mattress, brought down some pillows and snuggled up.  We had a wonderfully unhealthy dinner of potato chips and dip, little cheesy sausages,  and pizza. So naughty but oh so good.  We munched as we watched Cars 2, Croix's current favorite movie.  It was so much fun.  We'll have to do it again for sure!

After we put Croix down Brent and I snuggled up and enjoyed a grown up movie.  It was a great date!

PS. We went to the grocery store to get all the food for our dinner, since we don't typically have junk like that around the house.  I went in dirty pj's, with no make up, and not wearing a bra.  So of course we saw 4 different ward members!  Never fails!

Grandma Came for a Visit

With Jim's passing we felt it best to stay down here for the holidays this year.  Since we didn't make it up to Prescott for Thanksgiving we had my Mom, sister, and nephew come down here.  We had lots of fun!  Croix sure loves when they come to visit.  We made snowflakes one day.

 

I love this pic of theses two.  They are such good buddies!

Everyone but Croix loved making snowflakes.  I seriously enjoyed myself!  Croix did love having them up in our window.  We were both sad when Brent took them down.

Croix and Seth did great together, played well, shared, minimal fighting.  They are such good cousins.  Croix loved spending time with Grandma and Aunt Chelsea.

They had loads of fun in a bath.

Just yesterday Croix was asking for Grandma Susan.  I think it's time for another visit!!!

Midwife

I switched to a midwife and LOVE it!  I switched for a couple reasons.  One I've decided to have a natural child birth this time.  (no judgmental comments please).  Two I was a little worried about going in and telling my OBGYN that I had noticed contractions as early as 12 weeks.  She had mentioned shots for contractions before I was even pregnant.  After doing some research I knew I did not want to do that at all!  Also after having been through labor, and real contractions I feel like they are just braxton hicks.  Since a "real" contraction causes changes to your cervix I also didn't think they were real last time because I don't think I could have started having real contractions at  17ish weeks and held in a baby until 36, if my cervix was thinning, opening and dilating that whole time.  I didn't feel like my OBGYN would hear any of that.  I felt for sure she would just hear, I'm having contractions and want to start me on shots.  That combined with the fact that I feel a midwife is going to be a much better way to accomplish my goal of a natural birth I switched.

My first appointment with the midwife was awesome!  She sat down and just had a conversation with me.  She asked questions like, what Croix's name was, and then used it.  How did his birth go?  How did I feel about that experience?  What did I think/feel about my body and this pregnancy.  It felt much more personal, and like I was being included in care of myself and my child.  My appointment on Sat was just as great.  There was no impatience with Croix's business instead she talked to him, asked him questions.

I feel like this was a great decision and I cannot wait to continue care with this practice and have a natural child birth.

**If anyone is interested I've switched to Boojum Midwifery.  They have two websites
http://www.drkells.com/

http://myazmidwife.org/

I wouldn't hesitate a moment to recommend them!

Sleep At Last!

After prayerfully trying to figure out how to help Croix get the sleep he needs I decided to put him back in his crib.  I also though a blessing would be helpful.  Before I could even mention to Brent that I felt like Croix needed a blessing to help him sleep, Brent suggested it.  I love that man!  I love that he is a worthy priesthood holder.  I love that he is concerned about Croix's health and well being.  Friday we put the crib back together and for the first time in 6 months he slept in a crib.  Croix received a blessing before bed.  He sat so still, it was amazing.  For the first time in a month, he slept past 5!!!  He didn't get up until 7!!!  We took  him out for donuts to celebrate!  I knew the true test would be nap time.  Again, he slept!!!  The difference in my little boy has been huge and wonderful.  More laughs and giggles then tears and crying.  He's just happier!  There were many prayers of gratitude!  This may not seem like such a big deal, but to me it's a small miracle.  A reminder that my Heavenly Father is aware of me, and my family's needs and is blessing us.  Thank heavens for Priesthood blessings, and personal revelation, so our sweet little Croix can get the rest he needs!

We're Having a Baby GIRL!!!!

We had our big ultrasound yesterday.  Can I just say how mean it is to ask a pregnant woman to drink 26 ounces of water and NOT pee!  Good heavens!  I've been anticipating this for weeks!  This past week just crawled by as we waited for our apt.  I was so anxious to find out if we were having a boy or girl, to make sure baby was growing well, to make sure everything on my part looked good.  This is such a big ultrasound.  I was happy to hear that baby looks great.  She (can't get over that!) is growing great, all organs look good.  No signs of any problems.  She is measuring exactly where she should be for her due date, not a day off. I was glad to hear this because as of today I have not gained a single pound.  I wasn't seriously concerned, I know I'm eating healthy, eating extra, I can feel my uterus growing, and baby moving.  I was a nice relief though to hear she's  measuring just right!  I think I probably haven't  gained any weight because to gain 10lbs before getting pregnant I was drinking nearly 1000 cal a day.  Plus the medication to get rid of the cyst caused weight gain.  Surly if I wasn't pregnant and stopped both of those I'd be loosing weight.  So perhaps rather then loosing weight I'm just not gaining.  Dr. did say she'd like to see a min of 1-2 lbs weight gain in the next month, but at this point since baby looks perfect she's not concerned either.

The ultrasound tech was unable to get the shot of baby girls heart that she needs, because of her position and the fact she wouldn't move.  She said from what she sees everything looks perfect, she just couldn't get the angle she needs, so we'll do another ultra sound in a couple months.  Also my placenta was a little low, so they would like to check that again as well.  Both things are not of any big concern, just need to be checked again.

We could not be more thrilled to be having a little girl!!  We wanted this so badly!  I got all teary eyed when she said, "and see these 3 little lines, that means it's a girl"  Oh so joyful!!

Croix was very cute.  He seemed a little concerned about me.  So I had him come over and stand by me and hold my hand.  He want to touch my belly and despite my best efforts to keep him from doing so, he got slimy.  After a bit just holding my hand was not quite enough so he came up on the table and laid next to me.  This made him happy!  Then he could really see what was going on.  It was super sweet and fun.  I loved having him snuggled next to me, and see our little girl. 

Yay for a great ultra sound and Doctors visit!  Yay for a smooth and healthy pregnancy!  Yay for almost being half way done!