Meal Time

Croix is the messiest eater EVER!  He still refuses to use his silverware most of the time.  So then his hands are beyond messy.  Which he does not like.  So he will flap his hands to get the food off, which flings food all over.  He also now likes to roam and graze.  He'll eat a little get down, with his messy hands, touch a million things, then go back and eat some more.  Oh and of course every little morsel of food can be a car, train, or some other vehicle to drive (smear) all over the table.  This is seriously ridiculous!  He's almost THREE for heavens sake.  He should be able to sit, eat a meal, with silverware, and then go wash his hands.  After threatening for a week to get the high chair out of the garage and have him use that again (like a baby not a big boy) he's now dinning in a high chair again.  So far it's working much better.  Mess is contained to  his spot at the table not the enitre house.  I can wash him before he gets down, or send him straight to the bathroom to wash.  Now if only I could get him to use silverware!  (any great tips for that?)

Exhausted

I probably shouldn't be blogging in this state of mind but oh well. I'm freaking tired! Maizy is a gassy baby and it seems to hit every night from about 9PM to about 1AM. Half the night I'm up feeding and then burping and changing and burping and comforting and burping. My arms hurt from burping her so much. I can't even get a good nap because Croix has decided he doesn't need a nap everyday any more. Although he does a pretty good job of being quiet during nap time he still makes noises occasionally that wake me up.  I'm dizzy I'm so tired! I just went into our bathroom and just cried and cried while Maizy screamed. Poor thing is just hurting, but I'm just so tired. This to shall pass right? Some how we'll make it through this. People survive gassy newborns and toddlers all the time right? We can do it too, I'm just not quite sure how at the moment.

Click

The day after I did Maizy's newborn photos Croix grabbed an exercise thingy and put it around his neck and was pointing it at us saying, click, click, click.  I asked him what he was doing and he said, taking pictures.  He became a little photographer!

Smitten

I must say Croix is completely smitten. He is such an amazing big brother! He wakes up in the morning and first thing wants is to come see baby Maizy. He asks to hold her all the time. And sometimes holds her without asking. Yesterday he picked her up and started walking across the room. I tried not to freak out. Just explain why he doesn't carry Maizy, that he needs to ask. I told him how much I love that he loves Maizy. And how much I love him. I'm trying to not tell him all the time not to do things, to, with, around Maizy. Which is difficult since he has a lot to learn. I think so far he's adjusting well. It's only been a week so we'll see how things keep going.

I feel a little like I've abandoned him. We spent so much time just the two of us, I miss that a little. He has been grumpier and throwing more tantrums. But he was also sick and up half the night just days before Maizy was born. And I'm sure he didn't sleep as well when he was at friends over night when we were in the hospital. He's had some bad naps due to schedule being off. Basically he's tired. So it's hard to say if the increase in grumpy tantrums is from being tired or acting out from the adjustment. Again time will tell.

Every time he sees her he says "oh she's so tiny". He loves to check out her hands and feet. He loves to give her kisses. He likes to help burp her, although can be a bit too enthusiastic about it. He likes to be close to her even if he's not holding her he wants to sit by her.  I love Croix and I love that he loves Maizy!

Solo

We were lucky enough to have Brent home for two weeks after Maizy was born. He went back to work today (actually yesterday, didn't get this finished and posted). So it was my first day solo with my two little loves. It went really well! Croix was awake when Maizy woke up but was quiet in his room long enough to nurse her. Croix entertained Maizy (who likes to be awake first thing in the morning) while I made breakfast.
Then I did the dishes (because my sink stunk to high heavens), cleaned the table (which was completely covered in food grim thanks to Croix's eating habits, a whole other post!), swept and mopped the floor. Then got us all dressed loaded in the car and headed to the library, even remembered the library books to return. We made it there just in time for story time. I sat down and nursed a very hungry Maizy and tried to coerce Croix to stay where he should and participate!  He didn't do too bad. Well unless you count when he almost pulled the fire extinguisher off the wall. Yep I went running across the room, baby attached, shirt half up my back, and made it there before he succeeded. After the story and coloring Maizy needed a diaper change and Croix had to go potty. We headed off to the bathroom where Croix decided the anti-smelly thing in the urinal looked like a great toy! Sick! Pretty sure the entire library heard me yell "STOP! NO! PUT THAT DOWN!"  It was an exciting trip to the bathroom.
Once we got home it was lunch time. Croix wouldn't eat, or listen to a thing I said. Maizy had been up until 11 the night before with gas (again a whole other post) so I did not get much sleep.  Since I had fed her at the library I hadn't burped her very long, and had forgotten her gas drops. She was gasy and fussing and crying.  I could feel the sleep deprivation turning into patience deprivation. I could feel it and hear it in my voice. We were both too tired! Some how, most likely thanks to answered prayers, we all made it to nap time. I said some very heart felt prayers that we could all get a good nap. And what do you know, the Lord loves me! We all got a 2hr nap!
After nap time we watched the movie from the library, read some books and played some games. Croix didn't destroy anything while I nursed Maizy. And before we knew it Brent was home!  Even with a super grumpy tired 2 yet old and a gasy new born and nowhere near enough sleep for me, we still did just fine! Mom of two is going to be great!

I Remember

How a tiny newborn fits so perfectly on my chest.
Nipples sticking to nursing pads.
How wonderful Lansano is!
How soft newborns are.
Sleep headaches.
Having to build up burping muscles, and sore arms.
The irresistible urge to kiss my baby.
How awesome my nursing boobs look, but not so much how they feel.
Being overwhelmed with worry.
How stinky nursing pads can be after a long leaky night.
How ravenously hungry I get, and how I just crave carbs.
How amazing Brent is at stepping in and helping.
How much I love seeing and hearing Brent interact with our new baby.
How grateful I am to have someone bring dinner to my doorstep.
My neck hurting from staring at my new baby.
My heart growing even bigger and love overflowing.
Random tears of joy when thinking of how blessed my life is!

Maizy's Beautiful Hypnobabies Birth Story

 We used Hypnobabies for our birthing.  They use some different terminology then you are used to.  I also talk about the self hypnosis that I used.  If anything doesn't make sense or you would like more of an explanation of what I'm talking about, feel free to ask.  I'd love to share more info with anyone!

At about 3 AM Tuesday June 19th I woke up to go to the bathroom.  I noticed I was having some pressure waves (contractions) and that they were stronger and coming fairly frequently.  I slept in between them for about an hour, then I started timing them.  They were every 3-5 min apart and lasting about a minute.  I was trying to do my finger drop technique (entering self hypnosis) at the same time trying to time my pressure waves.  It wasn't working so great, I was too distracted.  At 4:30 I got on my exercise ball, tried to relax and tell my cervix, open open open.  I was finding it hard to relax and finally at 5:30 I decided I needed to listen to my Deepening CD.  I went downstairs and put it in and slept for about half an hour.  At 6:30 our neighbor brought a wide awake Croix back home (he had been at their house from the night before when I wasn't positive if my water had broken and we went to the hospital).  I ate some breakfast and went back to bed to see if I could sleep some more.  After listening to my deepening DC I found it much easier to stay in my hypnosis.   I stayed relaxed and comfortable through pressure waves even when interacting with Croix and eating breakfast.  Even though I'd been having regular, strong pressure waves for 3 hours I was hesitant to declare it time to go to the hospital, after we had been sent home less then 12 hours ago.  Once upstairs  I couldn't sleep and my pressure waves were getting stronger, longer, and closer together (although I did not actually time them, I found that to be too distracting.)   A little after 7 I hollered to Brent to get Croix ready we were going back to the hospital.  He asked if my water had broken and I told him, no but I'm calling it, this is the real deal, time to go.  On the way there we text our Doula, Tricia, and the birth photographer.  Tricia met us at the hospital shortly after we got out of triage and to our room.  The birth photographer was unable to make it.  So disappointing.  So the photos we do have are not so great quality, but I'm still thankful to have them.  (So please excuse blurriness, graininess, darkness, etc)

We dropped Croix back off at our neighbors and headed to the hospital at 7:30.  On the drive I put my head phones and listened to one of the Hypnobabies tracks.  This really helped me to stay relaxed on the drive.  When we got there I walked up the registration and said "hi!  we're here to have a baby!"  She asked if we were there for a scheduled induction or C-section.  I didn't realize at the time why she had asked that but thinking about it now I'm sure it's because I didn't look like the average woman "in labor".  I was calm, smiling and most important, not in pain.  She then asked if I was having contractions and I told her yes, every few minutes, with a smile.  Since we had just been there the night before going through registration was much quicker then the last time.  I found it easy to stay relaxed as a pressure wave would come I'd put my light switch in the off position, breath, back to center and continue what I was doing.  In triage they checked me, I was at 5.5 cm!  I was excited.  We were getting closer to meeting our baby!   After 20 minutes on the NST they took us to our room where they had the tub all ready for me.  A little after we got to our room Maria the midwife came and checked in on us and asked how we were doing and asked if we needed anything.  I told her everything was great!  She told us if we needed anything just to let the nurse know and she'd be right there.

We met our nurse Angie, she was great.  She said to me, "I've never done a Hypnobabies birth before so I'm sorry if I say the wrong thing".  I said to her, I've never done a Hypnobabies birth either, we'll do great together!  The tub was awesome!  So comfortable and relaxing.  I was able to enjoy my birthing time with out any IV's and only intermittent monitoring. To do the monitoring the nurse would just bring a dopler over and listen to Maizy's heart beat before, through and after a pressure wave.  I was able to stay in the tub for that which was great!  She did that about every 30 minutes.  The nurse had to put on these hilarious gloves that went clear up to her armpit every time she monitored me.  For some reason it reminded me of a Veterinarian delivering a horse, or elephant or cow or some huge animal! 

Hilarious right?  That was not the only thing we laughed about.  We were talking and joking and enjoying our selves the whole time.  When a pressure wave would come, I'd just turn off my light switch, focus and then go back to the conversation.  There were a couple times when someone was talking to me when a pressure wave would come and I tried to talk to them rather then turning off my light switch.  Those couple times I felt my body start to tense up and as soon as I turned my light switch off, I'd relax and be much more comfortable.  It was amazing to me!  I also used my peace cue and that was very  effective and helpful in staying calm and relaxed.

During Pressure Waves

 After

At 11:10 Maria came in to talk to us.  Her and Dr. Kells had a C-section to do at another hospital at 12:00.  She wanted to check me and see how things were progressing before she left.  I got out of the tub and was excitedly anticipating hearing I was at a 9 or something like that.  She says, well you're at about a 6 so I think we'll be ok if I head over.  I was so disappointed.  I'd barely made any progress.  I decided as wonderful as the tub felt it was time to try and get things moving.  But not until after some lunch!  At 11:25 we ate some lunch.  Then we went on a walk at 11:45.  While we were walking during pressure waves I would lean on Brent and Tricia used a wrap around my belly and lifted.  After about 4 pressure waves doing this my water broke, at 12 pm. I had lots of extra amniotic fluid and it was a huge gush, in the middle of the hall way.  Not so envious of who ever has to clean that up!  Funny how I had been so concerned about a prolapsing cord, or arm but in the moment it didn't even cross my mind.  I could feel something was a little different with that pressure wave and it felt kind of nice when my water broke.  Instantly I could tell things were different and we quickly headed back to our room.  At 12:10 we got back to the room and I asked the nurse to check me, I was at an 8.

 Brent helping me stay relaxed while the nurse checked me.

They called Maria.  I heard the nurse say, "my patient is getting pretty active."  I decided 2cm could take a while so I got back in the tub.  I thought we had plenty of time for Maria to get there

 Brent using the relax cue

 Reading me some scripts.

It seemed to me that almost instantly I felt like I needed to push!  Which I thought I couldn't be to a 10 yet, so I better not, I (my body) couldn't be ready to push yet!  But with the next pressure wave there was no way I could not push!  At 12:25 I got out of the tub and squatted and pushed for one pressure wave.  The nurses wanted me to get on the bed, so I didn't give birth on the floor.  I got on all fours to push on the bed.  I remember hearing a nurse say something about getting any OB in there.  They told me Ramona was coming and I smiled!  Ramona is the midwife at the practice I like the most, the one I had wanted to be with me when I gave birth.  I asked how far away she was and they told me she was just leaving the office,  I thought I'm going to get Ramona she's only 10 min away!!  I pushed with the next pressure wave and at that point I thought oh this hurts.  I kind of whimpered "it hurts it hurts".

 Brent helping me while I pushed.

Next pressure wave it burned and I said that.  The nurse said yes she's doing a good job of stretching you out.  I asked if she (Maizy) was there?  She said yes you can feel her head.  So at 12:32 I reached down and felt my baby crowing.  (I think it's funny at that moment I wanted to shout, "how's my perineum?"  I didn't :)  I was shocked, I had pushed for an hour and a half with Croix.  Here I was just a couple pushes in and she was already crowning.  I also remembered with Croix his head would come out a little with a push and then go back in and that happened for such a long time.  I wanted to make sure that didn't happen so with the next pressure wave I really bore down, and out came her head.  The nurse said one more push for her shoulders.  One more push and at 12:35 she was born.  Brent was going to catch, and went down to do so when her head came out, but it all happened so fast he didn't get a chance to.  The nurses kind of caught her, more they helped her land on the bed.  The midwife, or any other doctor never made it.  It was just me, Brent, Tricia, and the nurses.  It was perfect.  At 12:45 Maria got there.  She checked and said there was no tearing, just some minor abrasions.  I was so happy to hear that!  I was worried with how fast it had gone I would have torn.  I was very glad my perineum was fine:)  We waited to cut the cord until it stopped pulsing.  Maizy came out perfect with a good cry.  She scored a 9/9 on the Apgar.  At 12:55 the placenta was delivered and it felt good to deliver the placenta, a little relief. And at 1:00 Maizy started nursing for the first time.  We waited an hour or so to weigh her, just took some time to bond.  She weighed in at 5 pounds 14 ounces, 19 inches long 12cm head.  After a while another nurse came in and said what a great job I did.  She said, I hear you even went pee by yourself.  My slightly baffled response was "Yeah I'm such a big girl"  When I got home and was using my water bottle after using the restroom I remembered having a hard time peeing after Croix, most likely from the catheter, and having to use water to help me start peeing.  That helped me understand her comment.  I heard from several nurses, what an amazing job I did.  It really felt great to hear that from women who see births daily.

(I ended up completely naked so there are only a few pics of right after.  Never thought that would happen, but it did)

 I love this one, Me taking in Brent, taking in our new baby.

 Tricia, Me, Brent, Maria (baby Maizy is happily nursing under that blanket)

 Feeling wonderful after Maizy's birth!!!

 Croix meeting his new baby sister

 Sweet kisses.

 Checking out her hands

 and feet

 He says "Oh she's so tiny"

My whole world!

 First family photo, thank you self timer!

Maizy was doing great and I was feeling fantastic so the next morning I asked if we could be discharged.  Twenty Four hours after she was born and our little family was headed home.

I was confidant that Hypnobabies would work and I would have the birthing experience I wanted but I am still amazed at just how easy it really was.  It was quick and comfortable.  The only time I felt any real pain was when I was pushing her out.  And even then I was not screaming out in pain, or crying, or vomiting, just quietly said it hurts.  I felt/feel so much better afterwards this time then I did after Croix.  I was immediately able to get up and walk around and I felt great!  My body is/was not as tired.  I am already (3 days post baby) not even taking Ibuprofen because I don't need it.  When my milk came in I didn't get engorged (that can be caused by the excess fluids in your body from IV fluids during birthing time).  A natural birth, a Hypnobabies birth was one of the best most beautiful experience of my life.  It was perfection!

Maizy Shea Maldonado

Born June 19th at 12:35 5lb 14oz 19in. Perfect in every way. She's stolen our hearts already! I think there is nothing sweeter than my  new born baby in the crook of my arm nuzzled up and suckling at my breast. And no smell in the world is more Heavenly then new born baby. Her beautiful perfect Hypnobabies birth story is coming soon.

Still Pregnant

I'm sitting in my living room right now. Couple of hours ago I thought I was going to be having a baby right now. I'm disappointed. I lost my mucus plug this morning. Then this afternoon was noticing extra fluid in my panty liner (I put there in case my water broke) and on the tissue when I went to the bathroom. I have too much fluid and wasn't sure if my water broke or not so the midwife sent me to the hospital. Better safe than sorry. And with how much fluid I have if it had broken she wanted me at the hospital to keep an eye on things. Well two hours later we're back home. Sigh. I don't regret going. Too much fluid, broken water, prolapsing cord, very serious issues. Glad I went and found out, just wished it was the real deal. Soon, soon enough. "I have faith my baby will be born at the perfect time and I am lovingly patient. " One of my favorite joyful pregnancy affirmations.

37 (almost) Week Check Up

Today at my appointment found out I have even more extra fluid than before.  Like a lot extra.  I was thinking not such a big deal since it just increases risk of a breach baby and I know she's already head down and praying she stays that way.  Then they tell me that another concern is if your water breaks and baby's head is not fully engaged in the pelvis (which is more likely because of all the extra fluid she's just floating around) there is an increased chance of prolapsed umbilical cord (Google that one)  which can be life threatening for baby, or baby's arm coming out first!  Yikes people!  Pretty sure I'm now going to have nightmares about baby arms, or other parts hanging out of my vagina tonight!  Or my baby dying before I can get to the hospital.  Oh did I mention my water broke at home with Croix, a good 1 1/2-2 hours before we got to the hospital.  Let's just say I'm not laboring at home, I'll be headed to the hospital as soon as my birthing time starts.  But that might be a little difficult to determine considering I'm having birthing waves (contractions) all the time.  Like last night when they woke me up and kept me awake for about an hour in the middle of the night.  Or this morning, they were every 3 minutes for about an hour.  I'm still pregnant, so obviously that wasn't the start of birthing time, but with that going on all the time how am I supposed to know for sure!  Sheesh body, just make things difficult why don't you!  They also said that Maizy is measuring small, still, she always has been.  But that's better than big which is a concern with gestational diabetes.  Also said at this point I'm good to go as far as pelvic/bed rest.  So at this point it's self inflicted until we're ready to have a baby.  Saturday is the last day of our Hypnobabies class I'm good after that.  Brent thinks we should wait until his Mom gets home from South Carolina and can take care of Croix.  I have other arraignments made I think we'll be fine.  I feel like I can just decide what day to have a baby, which is not really true.  But I have pressure waves all the time.  I feel like all we'll have to do is wait until they start up and I'm having them every 3-5 minutes (which to get that going all I have to do is be physically active) and then do something to help stimulate labor, ie: sex, a walk, nipple stimulation, eating specific foods or herbs, there are tons of things you can do (at least according to Google) and we'll have a baby.  (wow that was one run on sentence)  Either way Brent's Mom gets home late Tuesday so I'm thinking we'll have a baby by this time next week!  Bring it people!  I'm so excited!