I feel like I'm a Ring Master when I nurse now a days. I swear it's become such a circus! Croix is so easily distracted. He's on and off, crawling around, whacks me, pinches, scratches me, pulls my hair. When ever Brent is home in the mornings I'll usually nurse laying down in bed. Now Croix just crawls around while he's nursing!! The other day he was nursing while on his hands and knees! Crawled back for some more! He's also just getting so big! I remember when he was brand new and so tiny. Now he drapes all across me and over me. He's not so little any more. I will usually sit at the computer and play around online while I nurse. Not so easy anymore. Now Croix flails his arms around and hits the keyboard. He'll kick at my arm making it near impossible for me to use my hand and the mouse. He gets distracted by what ever is on the screen. Ugh! It's frustrating to me. It makes the thought of him turning one a little bit easier! I'm looking forward to weening! I'm mostly looking forward to having my freedom back and not being tied down by feedings! I never thought of what a sacrifice nursing, especially to a year, would be! A sacrifice I'm more then happy to make but man it requires a lot! Sometimes I feel like all I've done with my day is feed Croix. We nurse 4 times a day and eat solids 3. That's SEVEN feedings a day! Plus I have to feed myself and Brent, really there are days where I feel like all I've done is make sure my family is feed. It will be oh so nice to cut out 4 of those feedings!
Even as I sit here writing about how I can't wait to be free and have more time I know there's going to be a part of me that will miss it! It is so special to have that closeness with Croix. It's our special time and when He's not putting on a circus he he is very sweet. I love the moments when he'll stop of a second look at me with his big blue eyes and just wait for me to look at him and smile. He'll flash me his giant dimpled smile and get back to business. I'll miss how when he wakes up he'll nuzzle me knowing it's time to eat. I have a feeling when this circus ends it will be bitter sweet. Non the less I'm counting down......1.5 months!