Sunday, May 15, 2011

Growing Pains

I know that none of us are perfect. I also know this includes me. Over the years I have come to realize some of my weaknesses. I know I can be selfish. I can speak without thinking. I can be blunt and very matter of fact. As I've realized these weaknesses I've given a halfhearted attempt to change. I said a prayer to help me overcome these things, these natural man tenancies but not much more. Last week I had an experience that broke my heart. It was a slap in the face how very unaware of my bad nature I am. I'm afraid I'll lose one of my dearest friendships over it. Since then I’ve been trying to be very aware of how I speak. I realized that not only can I be blunt and to the point, but that the way I speak also makes it seem as though I am being belittling and condescending. What, from my perspective is me being a good friend and sharing actually seems to be rude and probably more than I would like to admit, hurtful.

I’ve tried earnestly to be more aware of this over the past week.  A few days ago I had this experience; we went out to dinner with some friends. They mentioned a problem they are having with their dog. We had the same problem with Rusty. Without thinking I blurt out “What you need to do is….” It’s not just the words I said, it’s the tone I used, so blunt, so matter of fact, so almost self righteous, like I was some authority on dog training. I tried to do some damage control and end my statement by saying “at least that’s what we did with Rusty and it was helpful”.  How much better could it have been if I had taken half a second to think before I spoke.  Then I could have said " we had the same problem with Rusty.  I found it helpful to ....."  That is so much kinder.  That seems like a friend sharing rather that me telling them what to do.

I ache that my natural instinct is communicating in such a way! I am heartbroken thinking how many people I have probably offended over the years.
I believe this is the broken heart and contrite spirit they speak of in the scriptures. Now rather than halfhearted prayers I am praying with a broken heart to experience that change in nature that is promised in the scriptures. I know that through the atonement I can overcome this natural man. 

In Ether 12:27 it says “If men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them" 

Maybe I have brought this experience upon myself.  I have been praying daily to see the areas in my life where I need to change and the courage to make the changes I need to be more like my Savior.  If I loose this friendship it will be a great price to pay to learn this lesson. 

At this point I have a hard time imagining that this weakness could ever be a strength but I have faith that through the atonement I can have the ability to change. This morning as I was studying this topic I came across this quote from Elder Bednar;

“The gospel of Jesus Christ encompasses much more than avoiding, overcoming, and being cleansed from sin and the bad influences in our lives; it also essentially entails doing good, being good, and becoming better. Repenting of our sins and seeking forgiveness are spiritually necessary, and we must always do so. But remission of sin is not the only or even the ultimate purpose of the gospel. To have our hearts changed by the Holy Spirit such that "we have no more disposition to do evil, but to do good continually" (Mosiah 5:2), as did King Benjamin's people, is the covenant responsibility we have accepted. This mighty change is not simply the result of working harder or developing greater individual discipline. Rather, it is the consequence of a fundamental change in our desires, our motives, and our natures made possible through the Atonement of Christ the Lord. Our spiritual purpose is to overcome both sin and the desire to sin, both the taint and the tyranny of sin.”

I found it on this site which had so many great thoughts on the atonement. 

I can only hope and pray that I can continue to remember my weakness and be diligently working to become better. As I pray for forgiveness and strength that I will become a better more Christ like person. Please if you are around me and you are offended, or hurt by something I say, or the way I say it, let me know (with a little love please ).  I promise I will not be upset (at least not with you!) and that I will be grateful that you are the kind of friend who will help me to grow. And if I have offended you please forgive me. I am trying to become a better person.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

M&M Heaven

Mothers Day

My Mothers Day this year was full of Mothering.  Croix was (still is) sick again.  I got to clean up vomit, and snuggle and comfort my sick child.  I also had the lesson in Young Womens.  Both were a bit stressful, and certainly not relaxing.  But I am so grateful for the opportunity to have a sick child to care for.  As I was cleaning up vomit I thought as least I get to experience this.  As I taught the YW I thought how lucky I am to be able to help them learn about the temple.

I loved the speakers we had in sacrament meeting.  One talk in particular stood out to me.  The brother who spoke talked about how being a Mother is more than just bearing children.  You Mother every time you show Mothering attributes, like Charity, love, compassion, kindness, service.  Having struggle with infertility I really loved that this was mention and emphasized on Mothers Day.

I love be in Mother more than anything in the world.  I'm so blessed to get to have that opportunity.  I love this job, and all that come with it!

Easter Thoughts

As we celebrated Easter with bunnies and baskets and eggs I made sure not to forget the reason for the holiday.  The resurrection of our Savior Jesus Christ.  How grateful I am for this act of infinite selflessness that provides hope and comfort.  How indebted I am for the atonement that proceeded this great miracle.  Through that atonement I am provided a way to be come better, comfort in my times of sorrow, and strength when I have none of my own left.  I find so much joy in knowing the great acts of my Savior are there for me.  I find comfort in know I will be reunited with those who have passed on before me.  My heart overflows with joy for theses blessings.

Easter Eggs

We had lots of fun dying Easter eggs. Croix loved helping.

Croix got a little Easter basket from the Easter bunny.  I wasn't going to put any candy in, then last minute caved thinking I don't want to be that Mom.  Now I'm regretting that decision as we still have candy in our pantry.

 We did a little egg hunt around our living room.  It took Croix a minute to figure out what was going on.  Once he caught on he loved it!  He made us hide them again twice so he could find them again.

 Brent "hid" one of the eggs on our mirror
 Don't worry, Croix was not intimidated at all!
 Went right up there and got it!
 So proud of himself

We also made a fun Easter craft.  A milk carton bunny.  Croix enjoyed making it.  We just used a little mod podge on the carton and put cotton balls on it.  Croix's hands were covered in cotton ball by time we were done!  It was adorable!

Trip to the Museum

Croix and I went to the Arizona Museum for Youth with our good friends Stephanie and Lexee.  It was such a cool place!  Croix and Lexee had a blast!  I think we will try and go again some time!

They had a little kitchen

A room with trees you could pick fruit off of and corn you could pick from the wall and flowers you could pick from the ground.

They have a performing room with a stage, and costumes and instruments.

Croix danced and danced and then fell on the floor!
They have a cool glow in the dark, Alice in Wonderland room, with a table set up for tea.

A TV where the kids can see them self on it.

They also have fun little crafts the kids can do.  They had fun coloring and cutting and taping.  They have a big area with huge foam blocks they can build towers with.  It was pretty awesome!

Monday, May 9, 2011


My friend Danita is pregnant.  I threw her a shower.  It was fun!  I made some fun decorations for the shower.

 Tissue paper pom poms

 Water Jugs

 A banner made out of paint sample cards from Lowes.

 Flowers for the gift table

I realized after the shower I didn't take any pics of the actual shower, just the crafts I did   :(  I felt bad.  But I did maternity pics for Danita so that makes up for it right?!?!

If you'd like to see all the pictures I took of her and her family go here

First Fruits

We have harvested the first fruits from our garden.  We've have a few tomatoes ripen.  They are delicious!  You forget what tomatoes are supposed to taste like!  Croix is so proud of his fruits!  He loves to pick them (even before they are ripe, shame on him!)


Croix and I enjoyed a Mommy and Me dance class for the past few months.  Croix loved every minute of it!  Ok maybe not quite every minute, there were a few tears our first few classes.  But then he loved it!
It was just music and movement.  Little songs with moves to go with them.  Activities perfect for a kid his age pretending to be animals, rolling hands, jumping (Croix almost go that one down), catching bugs, ridding horses, ring around the rosie type games.  We ended singing Animal Crackers by Shirley Temple, stirring animal crackers in a bowl and then having a snack.  We loved it.  The instructor is pregnant and so the class is over now.  But if she ever does it again, we'll be there for sure!

 This was Croix's favorite, being a tiger!

Croix and his buddy Lexee, they are out of focus but this is the only one where they are both looking at the camera....sigh.

A big thank you to my friends little brother who was there and took the pics for me.  It worked out well for everyone.  He was not excited to be at a little kid dance class on his spring break, but he was excited to play photographer!  And I got pictures of our little class!