We'll give Croix a bath (most days) where he will splash around, play games, try to drown, and watch the water go bye-bye. (I think he's started trying to say bye-bye, can't tell quite yet). Then Dada will go get the sippy cup of milk while I give (or attempt to give) Croix a massage, and put his jammies on. Then one of us will hold Croix on our lap in the rocker and the other will sit on the footstool and read stories while Croix drinks his milk. It's a time of snuggling and learning, giggles and smiles. Croix will nestle in while being red to. He's starting to learn how to point. He's starting to point to things we ask him to, "Croix where's the cow?" then his sweet little fingers will point to the cow. We have a mini celebration of his learning, "yay Croix!" at which Croix will happily clap his hands and smile. He'll point at pages while we read. Occasionally, when I'm holding, not reading, Croix will glance up at me with his big blue eyes and just smile. When all the milk is gone and almost every book has been read, at least all his favorites, it's time for our song. We stand up, go turn off the lights. Croix will rub his sweet tried eyes as soon as the lights go off. Then he will lay his little head on my shoulder. Brent and I will stand facing each other and sandwich Croix in between us, sway back and forth as I sing
"You are my sunshine
My only sunshine
You make me happy
When skies are gray
You'll never know dear
How much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away"
While I sing Croix just snuggles us. He'll put his arms around my neck and hug me for a moment. Then he'll lay back with his head on his Daddy's chest and giggle. After we've finished our song he gets to tender kisses. We lay him in his crib and put a blanket over him, which he promptly grabs with both hands, and pulls in tight to his chest. He'll then smile at us as we walk out of his room.
Yes this is as tender and sweet as it sounds. More then one night I've felt the sting of tears in my eyes as I've been overwhelmed with love. How blessed I am! I feared I would never have this. I longed for this wonderful blessing with ever fiber of my being. I am overwhelmed with gratitude that I am blessed to be a Mother. Even more blessed to be Croix's Mommy and to have Brent by my side as his Daddy. As long as some days will be, as trying as some moments my get, I am grateful to get to experience them. I love that even on the days when I am exhausted, mentally, physically, emotionally, I get to have this little moment. Some days the words of this song touch my heart even more then others. "you make me happy when skies are gray". Perfection in that line. There is no better way to end a bad day then with this perfect bed time routine. I dread the day this little routine is no longer desired by Croix. We won't be able to hold him sandwiched between us when he's 10. So I will cherish the smell of his freshly washed hair. The feel of his soft, light arms around my neck. The innocent way he rubs his eyes. The look and smile I get while singing to him. How easily he goes to bed, with a smile! I'm going to cherish this now because I know some day I'll miss it desperately!