Monday, August 20, 2012


The other day Brent was holding Maizy while I was working on dinner.  She was being fussy so I told him, "she likes to be snuggled up right to your chest."  He replied to me, "Maybe YOUR chest".  Sure enough he tried it and it did not have the same effect as when I hold her close to my chest.  After a while of her not calming down I went and took over, did basically the same thing he was doing but she calmed right down.  Brent asked what I was doing different, because that was exactly what he was trying.  I told him, "I don't know, I'm just Mommy".  This made me both happy and sad.  It's nice that there is something special about being Mommy.  That she finds a special kind of comfort being snuggled close to me.  That I can have a "magic touch" with her.  But at the same time it's a little frustrating that she needs me.  It would be nice if she could respond as well to Brent.  Funny how one thing can conjure such conflicting emotions.

Maizy's favorite place in the world.
 (Don't mind the smeared mascara and ragged look upon my face)

On a somewhat related note I have figured out how to get Maizy to sleep with out being held, or in a wrap or sling.  For the longest time she just refused to sleep unless in some way attached to me.  This included night time.  I would lay her down and with in 10 minutes she was awake crying.  At night if I had her sleep in her bassinet she would only go 2 hours between feedings, if I put her in bed with me, I'd get up to 7!  For about a week I was too paranoid about SIDS to put in her bed with me but finally pure exhaustion won and she joined our bed.  I am not a fan of a baby in my bed.  Not something I really want, but it worked and we all got some more rest.  Although I certainly did not sleep as well with her in bed next to me.  This did not solve our day time sleep issues.  Getting anyting done was a challenge.  I could rock her and hold her until she was sound asleep and then a few moments longer, lay her down and she's wake right back up.  As handy as wraps and slings are and as much as I love them when we're out and about, I did not want to be wearing my baby in one all day long.  A friend suggested putting her on her tummy to sleep.  Again I resisted paranoid about SIDS but finally gave in and tried it.  What do you know my baby sleeps great!  She'll sleep in her bassinet all night and all day!  I can get some things done.  It took me about a week to not check on her constantly worrying about SIDS but she's fine.  And the more people I've told, the more I hear that other people break the rules too and put their babies to sleep on their tummies.

The fact that she is sleeping in her bassinet at night, and not on me all day long has produced a few days of me thinking/feeling like I'm starting to get the hang of this.  I'm definitely still trying to get my feet under me but there are a few days where I feel like I've done a good job being gentle and kind and interactive with my children and things around the house have gotten done.  Those days are usually followed by an awful day but hey, at least they are in there.  I know eventually, and hopefully soon the good days will out number the ones where I feel like I've failed.  We're getting there.

1 comment:

Kendra said...

This post reminded me a lot of my kids. Both of my boys (Crue mostly) did a LOT better sleeping on their stomachs. I hear it's less chance of SIDS if they use a binkie (not sure if yours does). I mentioned to their doctor about them sleeping on their stomachs and he told me if it was his baby and that was the only way they'd sleep, he'd probably put them on their stomach too. My kids have also all been mama's babies as well. I think a lot has to do with the fact that we provide their food and take care of them most of the time. The key is to let Brent hold her as much as possible, even if she's crying, so she can learn that he is ok and as much a part of her life as you are. It'll still take a while. Resist the urge to take her away from him right away if he can't calm her down. That was my hardest thing! I always wanted to soothe them (I loved being able to calm them down). I would try talking to them and rubbing their heads or backs or something while Jared was holding them to let them know I'm there but that they're ok with who they're with. Even still, Aly (at 16 months) prefers me over Jared and will sometimes fight him when he takes her to give him hugs and kisses before leaving for work. Luckily she gets excited to see him when he gets home so he know she loves him. Anyway, I'm sure you know all of that but I still wanted to share with you. :) It's fun to read your experiences (although I know they're not as fun for you) because a lot of them are the same or similar experiences. (I was extremely frustrated the other day about our messy and dirty house and I don't even have a new baby!) It's funny how easy one now seems after having two for a little while. :) Your kids sure are cute!!