I always love the beach loose curl look for hair. I've tried many times to achieve this, and have never been successful. Finally today I was successful. It was not what I wanted, but at least it did not look bad like it always has in the past. I felt pretty \when I left the house. Which honestly as a stay at home Mom with no real reason to "get ready" for the day that rarely ever happens.
I loved church today. Sacrament was so good! The speakers spoke to my spirit, things I needed to hear. Not only that but they shared testimony in the most simple, powerful, unapologetic way. I spoke in church last week and I wish they had spoken before me. Hearing their testimonies strengthened mine. Hearing them talk about how they have learned strengthened me. Hearing them testify of gospel truths strengthened me. For some reason while preparing my talk I felt like sharing those things would come off as boasting. I don't know exactly why. One of the speakers spoke of the importance of Family Home Evening, family prayer, and family scripture study. As he spoke not of the importance of those things but of their necessity I felt the spirit confirm the truthfulness of his words. I feel more determined to put more emphasis on those things in our lives and our home.
Then in primary the lesson was just good. To hear the kids in their small ways share their testimonies, and to see how firmly they believe was awesome. There was no doubt as we discussed the Gospel The faith of children is amazing.
Then in relief society the discussion was just fantastic. Such a great lesson. I shared an experience which hadn't seemed like a big deal at the time but as I shared it the power of it hit me and I want to write it down.
I have a friend who is also LDS and a strong feminist. She shared a link to a blog on facebook of LDS feminist. I consider myself to be a feminist so I went to check it out. I went to it and read the post. It made me think, made me wonder, made me doubt. I wanted to devour what she was saying. I wanted to research it. Wanted to discuss it with other women I know. Then just as strongly as I had wanted to do that I felt, almost heard, that doing so would be dangerous. That it could potentially hurt my testimony. I made the decision, after a little prayer, to just let it go. And I wish I could say I have not gone to the site again since, but I did once. Because it was getting talked about a lot and I wanted to know what all the fuss was about. But I have not subscribed I do not follow it because to me it does not strengthen my testimony, it does not bring the light of Christ into my life. It does the opposite. During our lesson as I was sharing this experience and I was relating it to the lesson I testified about how no matter how strong my testimony may be, testimonies are always fragile. And we should protect them, strengthen them and make conscious decisions to not allow those things into our life that can dim, weaken and ultimately break them.
Even with how strongly I had felt that perusing that blog would be damaging and dangerous to me it was not an easy thing for me to just let it go. I'm not a blind believer. I want to know details and research and know things for myself. I feel that is where faith comes into play. Sometimes it is a hard concept/principle for me to fully digest and accept. Sometimes I can feel like putting my trust in the Lord and having faith in hard things is really just blind ignorance. But when I do exercise faith I feel the weight of doubt lifted. I feel comfort. I feel strengthened in my testimony. Yesterday I read The Enabling Power of the Atonment. It talks about how the atonement enables us to do things beyond our own ability. I am thankful for that enabling power that helps me to have faith in hard things.
Then as Croix and I were driving home he was telling me about his primary lesson. It was about Jonas and the whale. He told me how Jonas prayed to Jesus and then he was saved. I said to him. Isn't that wonderful! Isn't it so great to know that we can pray to Jesus and he will hear and answer our prayers. I felt the spirit so strongly as I taught my son about prayer. I was momentarily overwhelmed with the tremendous responsibility being his mother is. What I teach him is so important, his very soul depends on my example and my ability to teach him the things he needs to weather the wicked storms that are waiting for him. I just pray that I can do the things I need to to prepare him sufficiently.