Friday, May 4, 2012


The other morning I came down stairs, went into the kitchen and found evidence of Brent everywhere.  The iron was on the stove (he puts it there to cool).  There was an empty cereal box on the counter.  The peanut butter was left out.  Instantly I'm irritated.  Why can't he put the iron back in the laundry room where it belongs.  What's so hard about throwing away a cereal box.  And really is it so impossible to put the peanut butter back in the pantry!  These are typical things for Brent to leave out and for me to clean up after him.  He leaves those items out all the time.  As I was getting more irritated I noticed the pile of dishes in the sink. Then I looked beyond the kitchen and saw the clothes that had been sitting on the couch for two days.  I realized he's not the only one who's not so perfect.  No doubt he gets irritated with all of my little annoyances.

As I thought a little more about what I was getting irritated about, I realized that although they are annoying, they are the result of nice things.  Brent irons his own clothes, and Croix's, and usually mine.  I really shouldn't be complaining about putting the iron away, at least I'm not having to iron all his work cloths.  He makes his lunch for work, and doesn't mind taking peanut butter and jelly.  He has never once said, "so and so's wife makes their lunch everyday".  He just quietly and with out complaint makes his lunch.  I have not gotten up to make a lunch for him and eat breakfast with him since before I was  pregnant, the first time, 3 years ago.  So he fends for himself for breakfast, eats a bowl of cereal, with out a word of complaint.  Maybe I didn't have as much to be irritated about as I thought.

Then I thought of my Mother in Law who so recently lost her husband and is now readjusting to life on her own.  I'm sure she would gladly clean up an iron, peanut butter jar, and empty cereal box her husband left out, because it would mean he was still here with her.  My heart grew a little sad for her.  All the sudden those annoying evidences of Brent, were not so annoying any more.

I've always been a firm believer that our perspective and attitude play such a huge roll in our happiness.  We make the choice of how happy we will be.  Yes my initial irritation was just human emotion.  Nothing wrong with that.  It really is annoying to have to clean up after my capable husband.  But as I changed my perspective I realized my own weaknesses, and the blessing I was begrudging.  Marriage is such a wonderful opportunity to learn and grow.  I hope I can hold onto this perspective of gratitude and humility.  Maybe someday that will be my instinctual reaction.  Maybe someday, deep in my core I'll be a better person.

I sure do love this man!!!!


Jessi said...

Thank you for this post. I needed to hear this perspective as I have been having the same frustrations. Such a good reminder.

Amber Waters said...

Thank you for sharing!