Maizy is a gassy baby. It's hard. I've blogged this post a dozen times in my head, usually in the middle of the night when we should be sleeping. It really is so sad. She'll be soundly sleeping and then just wake up screaming. You can see in her little face that she is hurting, her body tenses up, her cry is a pained cry. Oh I wish I could just instantly help her feel better, but we just have to wait for it to pass. Funny how the sound of a good burp from her really makes me so happy! And a good toot, even happier, because it's usually been causing pain, and crying for quite a while before it comes. I talked to a lactation consultant because I feel like the gas is mostly coming from her gulping air. She suggested hand expressing a little milk before feeding her so I'm not so full, burping her for 10-15 minutes between sides and at the end of a feeding, burping her on her tummy, using gas drops at every feeding. These seem to be helping a little. The episodes of fussiness don't seem quite as frequent. The burping suggestions have definitely helped up be more successful in burping her, especially tummy burping.
It is exhausting. I really honestly have tennis elbow from burping her so much, in both arms. My tendons just hurt. I need to ice them, I just keep forgetting. My rotator cuff muscles are tired. 20-30 minutes of burping every feeding, when feedings are still pretty consistently every 2 hours is a LOT of burping. I'm always so happy when she burps easily and quickly and smother her in kisses for a job well done! This also leaves little time for sleep, 30 minutes of burping plus 20-30 minutes of feeding, add in a diaper change and well it's almost time to feed again. Her fussiest time still seems to be from around 9 (when we would normally be going to bed) to anywhere from 11-1. We continue to feed every two hours all night. Then Croix wakes up at 7. The worst is when Maizy wakes up to feed around six, because then I'm just up for the day. By time we are done, Croix is getting up. I am amazed at how much I can still manage to get done on so little sleep, more then I ever imagined possible.
If you had told me I would get this little sleep, and have a baby this fussy I would have told you no way, I can't do that. Yet somehow here we are, still alive and going. The other day, after a long night I got Croix put down for a nap and Maizy started fussing. I was so tired and just wanted a nap so desperately. I started praying and heard myself saying "Heavenly Father what were you thinking giving me a gassy baby? I don't know that I can do this! I'm so tired. I need my sleep, like really need it more then most people! What were you thinking giving me a gassy baby?" All this on the verge of tears. Then I remembered a scripture I had read that very morning. Third Nephi 3:7, we all know it well;
"And it came to pass that I, Nephi, said unto my father: I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them."
My faith was strengthened, not only in the fact that I can do this, the Lord will support me and I will not be given more than I can handle. But also my faith that my Heavenly Father loves me. I find no coincidence in the fact that I read that scripture that very morning, or the fact that I remembered it in that moment when I needed reminded of those principles so desperately! I've done hard things before. Harder than I thought I could bear, and a loving heavenly Father and my Savior have always helped me through. This time in my life will be no different.
It is hard. But I have faith.